


"Farewell, a long farewell to all my greatness"

by la_locandiera



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Drunkenness, FC Bayern München, Inspired by Real Events, M/M, Retirement, Slow Burn, Translation, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-28 22:21:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 41,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21399577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/la_locandiera/pseuds/la_locandiera
Summary: After all these years when they played together, Thomas and Robert are saying adieu to Bayern tonight and during this last Bundesliga game Robert remembers. What? Everything, the good and the bad, the smiles and the tears…
Relationships: Robert Lewandowski/Thomas Müller
Comments: 16
Kudos: 10





	1. The beginning and the end

**Author's Note:**

> First of all an infinite thanks to Blue_Night who offered to be my beta, who helps me so much with the translation and who encouraged me to do this. 
> 
> Even if this is a pure fictional story most of the events that I'm describing (at least during the firsts chapters) really happened, I'm simply embroidering on the reality. 
> 
> Thanks in advance to all the person who will take some time to read this story, I sincerely hope that you're going to take pleasure in it.

Robert was sitting on the bench, the game had just started, but despite his usual habit, he was unable to focus on what was happening in front of him today, and he slowly let himself be captured by his memories. He tried to fight them at the beginning, but in such special circumstances it was impossible for him to win this battle, so he let himself be drawn into a sweet melancholy.

The sound of the supporters’ chants vanished in the air, the Allianz Arena slowly disappeared, and he traveled back to July 2014. It had been so long ago, but Robert had an extraordinarily well working memory, and he did remember everything about his first day at Bayern. There was hardly anyone left at the club these days - as all the international players were in holidays after the World Cup. Everyone welcomed him kindly, and you had to say that he did everything to make a good first impression, trying to be amiable but not smarmy, respectful but not distant, charming but not affected…

In a football team there was a certain hierarchy, and he had to show that he was aware of it, some people here were members of this team for years and they’d already won everything that you could win in the football world.

Yet for him his real adventure at Bayern didn’t begin that day, but a few weeks later, when the players of the German National team finally came back. Robert was both extremely excited and afraid to meet them. He had a feeling as if he was a fan about to see his idols, and clearly that was what he was, nothing more, nothing less.

Those men were the winners of the greatest football competition in the world and he’d dreamed, hoped and feared with them during all those long and eventful weeks this summer, watching all of their matches.

And if he hadn’t played against them in the 2013 Champions League final, he would certainly have been cheering for them like he’d done back then in 2012. He was feeling so small in front of them. Even though he hid it well, he’d always been a little bit shy, and so he stayed in the background.

He was considering that everyone was happy to be reunited again and that they had better things to do than taking care of the newcomer. The only person he knew was Mario, but as the national hero the younger player now was after the World Cup, he was way too surrounded by people to be able to notice him. So, he hid himself behind Manuel Neuer (thank God for his impressive body) during the congratulation’s speech made by the coach, and he was about to go doing his stretching exercises alone in a corner of the pitch when someone stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder.

He turned around to see that this someone was Thomas Müller. The guy first bid him welcome and then introduced himself to him - as if this was even necessary at all and the entire world didn’t know who Thomas Müller was. Robert didn’t answer right away, firstly because he was surprised, and secondly because the young man spoke with a heavy Bavarian accent and it was hard for him to understand what the other one was saying.

He gave a quick answer, certainly not very witty, but it seemed to be enough to satisfy his interlocutor who – strangely enough - appeared to be absolutely delighted to speak with him. Thomas, then, began to compliment him for his game against Real saying that for him it was definitely one of the greatest individual performance in the Champions League history.

If anybody else had said that to him, Robert would have thought that it was totally exaggerated and that this person was only flattering him, but Thomas looked so sincere, so honest that he believed him. Just like Oscar Wilde had once said: “An acquaintance that begins with a compliment is sure to develop into a real friendship.”

And, without Robert really knowing how, he found himself talking and laughing with Thomas during the whole warming up. He had been taken by this living and breathing flood of joy and words and easiness.

From the very first second Robert had established that Thomas was and would always be the strangest, the most normal and yet the most fascinating person at the same time he was ever going to meet. Who would come and talk with a total stranger, (who was playing with the rival team last year), instead of having fun with those of his other teammates he was much closer with?

Who could be able to do that without giving you the impression that they were just taking pity on you? Who could make you believe that one championship, one cup and four goals in a Champions League semi-final were more important than three championships, three cups, one Champions League, one world cup and ten goals in two attendances? Thomas could do that, even though Robert had considered him, until now, totally unable of any delicacy in feelings or in football, and the red jersey that had made him feel a little uncomfortable until this moment, he was perfectly at ease with it now. It didn’t take long until Philip Lahm, Bastian Schweinteiger and some other players joined them as well and they all spent training together.

A few days later, they played Beach Volley for the club TV together. Robert would never have thought that it would be possible for him to be so quickly integrated, nor that he would be able to have such fun with the Bayern team. He was of a merry temper, playful and very active, (though he was hiding it under an exterior calm), and he especially found out that he had some affinities with Bastian. But Thomas was his new partner in crime, his new friend, the one with whom he had matched instantly. Marco was going to laugh at him so much when he learned that Robert got along so well with this ‘loose cannon’ who didn’t even know how to dress himself properly. Mario was already giving him strange looks from time to time.

The first games arrived, but on the pitch his connection with Thomas was harder to find. Robert didn’t understand the way he was playing, he was running everywhere around the field, talking all the time, and Robert had the impression that Thomas somehow never really knew what to do with the ball. He had never really appreciated Thomas’ way of playing football, of course he was extremely efficient but his style was dreadful, nobody with their common sense still intact could take pleasure in watching him play.

In general, literally no one could take pleasure in watching him, his friend wasn’t exactly what you would call a beauty. That had at least been his first opinion on that subject.

Because after two weeks, he was admitting that Thomas had wonderful eyes.

After a month he was thinking that his hair looked marvelously soft. After six weeks, Thomas’ lopsided smile appeared to be the most charming thing Robert had ever seen. And finally, after two months, Thomas was one of the most beautiful men Robert had ever laid his eyes upon.

From this time on, it never crossed his mind anymore that Thomas could be considered as someone lacking beauty, and Robert might have insulted anybody wanting to say that Thomas wasn’t incredibly handsome - even though he’d once thought so himself.

It was the same with Thomas’ voice, after a few days he was convinced that the perpetual flood of words that came out of this beautiful mouth and Thomas’ strange Bavarian accent was soon going to be insufferable, but surprisingly it didn’t turn out like that, and Robert slowly even began to consider the Bavarian accent as one of his favorites. All those transformations in his way of thinking happened entirely unconsciously, and he only realized it much later. In the same way, he was completely unaware of the fact that he was trying to get Thomas’ attention. Robert was always teasing him during the training sessions in a manner that was quite suspicious.

Then a hard period of time began for him. The Bayern fans had difficulties to accept him, and he failed to seriously impose himself in the starting team as his performances were nothing better than tolerable. However, that only made him coming closer to the young German forward - who offered him constant support and who defended him tirelessly in front of the press.

That was one of the many fascinating things about Thomas, the absolute confidence he showed, the fact that he didn’t care about what people were going to think of him, (whether it was in good or in bad), and that they weren’t any kind of vanity or any disrespect towards others in this. Robert could only admire Thomas wonderful free spirit more and more, as he himself was so preoccupied by other people’s opinion, someone who was trying so hard to be _mister perfect _and couldn’t deny that he was perhaps a little bit too proud.

When he’d received an explanation about the meaning of the famous club motto, he’d found it very arrogant as the Dortmund player he’d still been, even though he’d known that he was going to play for Bayern. But now he finally understood what it meant, he finally understood what kind of ideal it was representing, finally understood that it was talking about the fact that being yourself was the only real form of being.

“Son chi sono” said the marquis of Forlipopoli, “I am what I am” said the Exodus. Thomas was the incarnation of the Mia san Mia.

He had some great moments during the first half of that season, the 7-1 against Roma was unforgettable, and so was the first goal he scored with the assist of a certain Bavarian player during a German cup’s game, (not to mention the hug that follow). But there were some more difficult ones as well, as the two matches against Manchester City, the competition he had to face about the striker position and the off-games that he had from time to time.

During those periods when he had the impression that he wouldn’t be able to ever score again Thomas was always there to comfort him, to calm him and to give him confidence, repeating all the time that he shouldn’t focus on his struggles but that he should only look forward to the next game as a new opportunity. Thomas seemed so sure that Robert was going to score during the next match that he ended up believing it himself, and of course that was the best way to make it happened.

Now that he was thinking about it, it was probably during a cold December’s evening, after a game against Leverkusen, that he lost the last remnants of his reason.

“_Reason, alas, I lost her, your beautiful eyes are the rascals who stole her._”

Who would possibly have thought that Thomas Müller had things in common with an angel? That was though the first comparison that crossed his mind at that time. It was like a human appearance. He had the impression that, like in movies, time slowed down.

Thomas threw himself into his arms while Robert was there on the pitch celebrating the victory a few minutes after the end of the game. His smile was so bright, he was beaming, and the lights of the stadium reflecting in his hair made him look even more radiant. Robert had the feeling that the sun was kissing him. Nothing could resist Thomas’ sparkling joy, his warmth, his sincerity, his sweetness and Robert didn’t want to resist. Every time he remembered Thomas’ display of grace a soft smile appeared on Robert’s face and now was no exception from this rule. This gesture, seemingly unimportant, mattered a lot to him because Thomas hadn’t come to him in the excitement of a goal or the euphoria of a huge victory. it was totally gratuitous, a simple expression of his natural happy temper and perhaps, so Robert hoped, a sign of Thomas’ affection for him.

After the Christmas holidays they did their first interview together in Doha, the world was beginning to see them as a duo.

Heaven, which apparently was trying to make him understand what was happening to him, decided that the 14th February was going to be the day of their first consistent performance together. But he still didn’t understand back then that the heart he gestured with his hands was beating for the man that was celebrating in front of him.

However, he was instinctive enough to feel that something did happen during this game. He and Thomas understood each other in a way they’d never done before on that fateful day, they finally spoke the same football language, and this was a language that Robert wasn’t going to forget ever again. And indeed, from this day on, they never needed any kind of translation anymore and they repeated the good games and the goals. Certainly, the absences of Robben and Ribery, who weren’t really the type of players to make many crosses, did help them but that didn’t explain everything. It was the fact that they had labored, that they studied, that they trained which finally paid off.

But if they did all those efforts to make it work - it was because of their friendship, because of their desire to understand each other on the pitch as well as they did offside the pitch. At last Robert did finally acknowledge - or more precisely - sense Thomas’ strange way of playing football. And there again what he’d once despised now appeared to him as the substance of football. This sport, once striped of all useless artifices, lay on three principles: time, space and movement, and that was precisely the football Thomas played. It was simple but he’d had to wait to meet a player that was running like a chicken to understand that. He began to consider that football intelligence prevailed on all other qualities.

Matches after matches, they trusted each other more and more.

Robert knew that Thomas was going to do everything in his power to make him score, that he was always looking for the pass, (if that was the right thing to do), always trying to place him in the better situation, always drawing the defenders’ attention to himself in order to create space for him, always there to balance his movements…

Of course, Müller was constantly giving everything to help the team, but Lewy couldn’t stop himself from believing that gradually the connection they had on the pitch was different from the one Thomas had with the other players. On his side he was trying to use his technique, his good understanding of the game, his sense for the goal to finalize their common work. And, even if it looked like a paradox to a striker like him, he was also happy to be able to compensate Thomas’ moves, to also create space for him…

No one could imagine how lonely strikers felt oftentimes, midfielders were usually at least two, same for the center-backs, the wingers were combining with the right and the left back, but the striker and the goal keeper spent most of their time alone. Sometime he was feeling so useless, the others were creating the actions, he was only there to finish them. Even if he had always tried to have an impact in the construction of the actions, (after all he’d played as a half-nine during a few games in Dortmund), it was nothing more than a few games when he discovered that he could be useful for someone without perverting the way he was playing or losing his own efficiency. Every goal that Thomas scored sincerely rejoiced him and he never felt any kind of jealousy.

He was beginning to be in the starting eleven on a more regular basis, and the supporters began to appreciate him. The second part of the season presented itself under the best auspices. And indeed everything was good: they were on top of the league, and their second game against Porto was perhaps one the best performance of this Champions League season so far judging the quality of the football played by them. On a personal point of view, he was still in the race for the title of Bundesliga’s top scorer. He was clearly taking more and more pleasure in playing with the Bayern team.

Unfortunately, things were going to become more complicated. Shortly before their first game against Barcelona, during an encounter with Dortmund in the DFB Pokal, Robert was about to jump for a header, his eyes fixed on the ball when he suddenly saw the goalkeeper arriving right on him but it was already too late.

He didn’t have the time to step aside or even to have any kind of reaction before their bodies collided while Langerak was punching the ball out. He felt a strong pain in his nose and then in his entire head, it grew exponentially and finely became intolerable.

Everything exploded in a bright white light and then there was only darkness. Little by little he came back to himself, the pain also coming back. When he opened his eyes, he was surrounded by players of both teams, and for a short amount of time he had some trouble to remember for which side he was playing. The doctors arrived quickly, they examined him briefly, helped him on his feet and guided him outside of the field. His head was constantly hurting and he wasn’t clearly aware of where he was. He was sent to the hospital directly, there they made him undergo a series of tests.

Only then did he realize what was happening and the possible consequences: no semi-final, perhaps weeks of rest, then the time for him to come back, to recover and find back to his old efficiency… He could lose his place in the team that he’d just conquered. The diagnostic was finely announced to him while he was about to frankly panic after he had considered the possibility of a career end. He had a cerebral contusion, and he’d broken his nose, nothing too bad, (no career end in perspective), but it wasn’t a simple scratch either, and so his participation in the match against the Catalans was compromised. The doctors asked him to stay under observation for the night in order to avoid possible complications.

It was already 11 p.m. when at last they left him alone in his bedroom.

Robert tried to sleep but his head was still hurting too much. They’d given him some painkillers, but they weren’t working yet.

Suddenly he realized that he had no information about the outcome of the match. He opened his phone, at first the light hurt him a little, but he quickly got used to it. They’d lost after a penalty shoot-out. So, no Pokal for this year.

It was definitely a bad evening. He didn’t have time to think too much about this bad news because he discovered that he had received quite a lot of messages. He read the ones from his family at first and then tranquilized them about his health. After that he looked at the ones from his friends and his teammates, everyone was worried about him. It was so nice of them to think about him even after a defeat, his team was wonderful.

The last message was from Thomas, of course it was three times longer than the others (this man achieved to be quite as prolific in his writing as he did in his discourse), he’d been texting him a little resume of the end of the game in his lively style, largely insulting poor Langerak and the referee who hadn’t called the fault. It was so hilarious that Robert began to laugh alone in his hospital bedroom. But the end of the message was what really caught his attention. “Come back soon! I’m going to miss playing with you.” He couldn’t stop reading it again and again. Thomas was going to miss him, he wasn’t speaking about the team or the fact that they need a striker for the Champions League game. No the young man was talking about just Robert. It was also the first time that Thomas was saying that he liked to play with him. The medicines he took began to be efficient, and he fell asleep in a slumber filled with images of Thomas running to him in order to celebrate after the goal Robert had scored this afternoon. During the entire night his dreams revolved around one person and ideas that were usually well hidden in his subconsciousness. _In medicamento veritas._

The following days looked like a real TV show and the great question was: could he play or not? At last the doctors gave their consent, he was allowed to play, but he had to wear a mask in order to protect his nose. The result of this was that Basti and Thomas began to call him ‘the masked knight’, the man with the iron mask, the Mask, Zorro… There was a true war between them about who was going to find the best nickname for him.

During the last training session, before the first match of the semi-final, Robert realized that Thomas was looking at him a lot, and each time that he was feeling his friend’s eyes on him it made him feel strangely uncomfortable. But why was Thomas acting like that? Was he worried about him and checking if everything was fine? Or was he looking that ridiculously with this thing on his face and Thomas was looking at him because it was funny? Yet his mother assured him that this mask enhanced his eyes.

How to describe this game against Barcelona? It was a humiliation, a massacre, a nightmare… Even if they achieved to stay in life for seventy-five minutes after they’d conceded three goals in a quarter of an hour, destroyed by a MSN in fire. It was hard, very hard, they weren’t bad but they weren’t good enough neither. But it was not the time to be desperate, there was still one game to play. They had already conceded three goals against Porto, but it wasn’t Barcelona, and at that time they scored an away goal. Anyway, he had to believe in their chance, football is a sport of faith.

The second game arrived but not the miracle. They won, 3-2, but it wasn’t enough. They fought, they took risks, they played, but they were eliminated. Robert knew when he signed with Bayern that he was going to play with a team ready for every kind of madness, that the point was simply to score more goals than your opponent did, no matter how many goals you had conceded. But tonight, it didn’t work. Even if it was hard to admit it, now he could say that Barca was better than them. However, a defeat could be logical, but it didn’t make it less painful. Moreover, he couldn’t stop himself from feeling a little bit responsible, he was convinced that if he hadn’t picked up this stupid injury he could have done better, be a lot more useful, more efficient… 

After an event like this one it was hard to focus back on the championship and on the last games of the year. Yet football offered you something that was rare and precious in life: the opportunity, if you’d once failed, to try again. You were allowed to try every year until you had no more forces or will left. And Robert had a good feeling about the incoming season. These two goals during the second match against Barcelona were announcing the beginning of the Thomas Müller and Robert Lewandowski area. It was a sign, two augury birds flying in the Champions League sky.

The end of the season wasn’t bereft of all joy, after all they were still the Bundesliga champions and that was something. The last shreds of pain disappeared the second he saw Thomas singing in his arms while they were dancing on the pitch of the Allianz Arena to celebrate their title, even a more intense grief wouldn’t have stood a chance against such a scene. Robert watched him intensely for a few seconds and then laughed before joining him in the singing. It was moments like that which made you love Bayern.


	2. A duo on the top, part 1

Holidays always were so long.

At the beginning Robert was happy to have some time to rest, to take a break, to stop living with and for football almost twenty-four hours each day. Of course he was happy to spend some time with his family, to stay in Poland and also to travel at the other end of the world… But with time passing by his desire to play, to see his teammates and to come back to Munich was growing more and more. He even came to the point that he was actually missing Pep’s endless tactical lessons.

When the morning of the brand-new season's first training arrived he couldn't help but feel like a child that was impatient for his first day at school to finally start, excited to see his friends, to meet all the newcomers and to discover who would be his teachers…

Many things had happened at Bayern during the holidays, some players had left, some new ones had arrived, the medical staff had been renewed. The departure of who'd counted the most for him was Bastian's transfer. They'd always had a good relationship, and Robert sincerely admired him as a player and as a man. Schweini was assimilated with Bayern, he was a club’s child and everyone had imagined that he was going to end his career at Bayern, and not at Manchester United or anywhere else.

He didn’t know exactly why Bastian had actually left, the official reason was that he was looking for a new challenge - but his friend let out some hints about the fact that he was judging himself as not being of any use for Bayern anymore, thinking that the team were going to play better if he wasn’t here to slow down the game. In some way Bastian sacrificed himself for the love of Bayern.

Everyone had been very affected by this news. Thomas looked particularly sad as he came into the changing-room and saw that Basti’s name wasn’t on his locker anymore. Robert, who was standing next to him, put his hand on his friend’s shoulder in a comforting gesture; and Thomas sighted deeply, thanked him with a small smile and then went away to change into his training clothes.

Now that he was thinking back about that day he realized that Thomas' attitude with the newcomers wasn’t the same as it had been with him a year ago, and as stupid as it actually might be – but he was happy about that. Of course Thomas talked with Arturo, Douglas, Joshua and Kinsley as well, but when he did he was always escorted by a few other players, (Robert was a part of them), and he didn’t stay with them during the whole training.

One of all those various proverbs says that in all bad things there is something good, and this was apparently the case here too. Bastian's farewell led to the consequence that he and Thomas became even closer than before. Sure he was sad to see his teammate suffering from the loss of such a close friend, but at the same time he was so happy about their newly found intimacy. It was because of that, for example, that they sat side by side during a charity match. Sitting there next to his friend he got the benefits of the live commentaries made by 'Radio Müller' and Robert laughed 89 minutes of the entire 90's, the missing minute corresponding with the time he needed to catch his breath again.

After that it was the time for the summer tour in Asia. He always loved those team’s travels, as a child he'd never done any kind of school trips, and these events were a pretty good way to make up for it.

He was in the middle of a discussion with Thomas when he entered the plane, and he was so taken by their debate that he sat down next to him without paying attention. Müller was the type of travel companion he hated: always talking, always moving and there was also the great chance that he snored or more likely that he talked in his sleep. Robert usually tried to seat himself next to someone he could converse with - but who would also let him listen to some music or watch a movie without interfering or feeling offended, someone like Mario or Jerome for example. However, the perspective of a twelve hours journey in Thomas’ company didn’t appear as terrifying as it had once done to him any longer and it even - though it was totally irrational - made him be quite happy.

They were engaged in an exciting conversation about the respective qualities of the different tactical systems. He had always loved to talk about football with his teammate, it was always interesting. Thomas was able to talk about quite every possible subject with wit and vivacity, but when he was talking about football there was a flame that lit up his eyes, and Robert was happy to share this passion with him.

After their vivid talk they decided to watch a movie on Lewy’s computer. Who could believe that the Star Wars films was so funny? They actually were, at least when commented by Thomas. They laughed so much that Manu and Fips, who were sitting right in front of them, looked at them from time to time with worried expressions, certainly a bit concerned about their mental health.

With time the atmosphere in the plane became quieter, a few people already fast asleep. Thomas also calmed down in order not to trouble them, and less than an hour later Robert suddenly felt a weight on his shoulder. His neighbor had fallen asleep on him. He remained motionless for a few seconds, totally paralyzed, and then his brain slowly started to function again. He laughed at himself for his stupid reaction, then forced himself to calm down and to keep on watching the movie without paying attention to the fact that Thomas was sleeping on his shoulder.

He followed his own instructions for less than a minute, and then he couldn’t stop himself from slowly moving his head in order to look at his friend. Thomas looked so young that Robert had the impression to see the Thomas of 2010 in front of him, the young man he'd met when they had first faced each other. His teammate seemed so calm and innocent, even a little bit fragile. A small smile played around Thomas’ lips, (he was never serious, even not when he was sleeping), and the dark blond curls of his hair looked sweeter than honey. Star Wars was entirely forgotten, and Robert fell asleep watching Thomas resting peacefully on his shoulder.

They woke up the next morning huddled against each other. It was undeniably the most embarrassing awakening of his life - and the most pleasant one. Even now he still wasn't sure what had been the most troublesome things: either the jokes of Frank and Jerome, or the understanding smiles of their two captains. Thomas acted as if nothing had happened, and Robert tried to do the same because nothing had actually happened after all. Two friends could fall asleep on each other during a long flight, that was happening all of the time, right?

Lewy had another memory of this trip which he cherished. During a training session the team was doing “toros” and he and Thomas were in the same group. At some point both of them rushed for the ball. The young German was quicker and he preceded him and hit the ball. Then Robert had a reaction that he'd judged as surprising back then, instead of getting mad because Thomas had jostled him and outpaced him to play the ball, he laid his hands on Thomas’ shoulders and watched him celebrate his small victory with a fond smile.

The gesture itself was insignificant, but as he was thinking about it a few seconds later, he was struck with the realization that in this moment his feelings were the opposite of what they should be. At first Robert had felt a protective impetus towards the young man, afraid that he could have injured himself with this inconsiderate move towards the ball, and secondly he'd felt a certain fondness for Thomas' determination and fighting spirit.

However, he hastened to classify all of this in the category of his mind called “Strange events and feelings linked with the company of Thomas Müller,” which was filled with all those little strange nothings that seemed to happen whenever he was spending time with Thomas. Like on that time last year when he was in a red fury and attacked a Leverkusen player who had dared to mess with Thomas, or more recently when he'd felt this sort of shiver when he'd seen Thomas winking at him during the game against Valencia.

In a general way, they had spent most of their time together during the summer training, chatting and laughing, (which Pep accepted without saying anything and which was clearly weird). Robert began to really appreciate the working sessions, especially when Thomas posted pictures of them having fun on Twitter after them.

The first games of the season went very well. He and Thomas hadn’t lost anything of their good understanding on the field that they had created last year, it was perhaps even better. For example, Thomas had particularly appreciated Robert's assist during their game against Hamburg.

The world of football had begun to see them as a duo, and the first questions about their “relationship” slowly but unstoppably came up. He never really liked to answer the journalists’ interrogations, but at least they made you to think about problems that you wouldn’t have considered and to say things that you'd never have said otherwise. What was his relationship with Thomas like when they were on the pitch?

Good question. The answer he'd given at that time had been: “Thomas and I just get along very well with each other. When we play together there is something like blind understanding between us. Thomas always knows where I am, how I move. It's the same case the other way around. We know each other inside out. That's why we don't have to talk on the pitch.”

Indeed, he was permanently conscious of Thomas’ presence on the field, but also offside the pitch, but this was something he wasn’t ready to admit yet, even not to himself. They'd made efforts to understand each other, and it worked. Robert never had in his entire life so perfectly gone along with another player until he'd met Thomas. Sometimes he had the feeling that they were simply meant to play together. There was something transcendental in their association, a stroke of fate or of Guardiola’s genius, (you could choose which one you preferred). One day Piszczek had told him something like that concerning him and Kuba, and back then he'd just laughed at him but now it might as well be Lukasz’s turn to laugh at him.

With the month of September came the Paulaner shooting, and because of their physical analogy, (he was only one centimeter shorter than Thomas), they were placed side by side, a decision which had a lamentable effect on his ability to concentrate. There was something particularly charming about the sight of Thomas Müller in Lederhosen, it seemed like he was made for them, and perhaps so it was because he was a Bavaria’s embodiment after all, wasn't he? Those clothes were highlighting the nobleness of his profile and the natural elegance of his appearance. All of this combined with his bright smile and melodious laugh had a strong effect on his mind, and he had a lot of trouble with averting his eyes from his amiable neighbor and looking - as he was actually supposed to do - in the direction of the photographer. The poor man had had to call him back to order many times.

The 22nd of September, that was a date that he was never going to forget.

Aristotle said that reality sometimes surpassed fiction. When such events happened there were two different ways to react, either one talked a lot in order to understand and assimilate, or they remained silent in order to admire and enjoy.

Of all the people present, even if he was the most involved one in this, Lewy was certainly the one who understood what happened on this day the least of all. Ever since then, a lot of people asked him questions, and he did the same to himself, but he was unable to find any plausible explanation.

Robert had experienced some minutes of grace, some minutes when Heaven offered him the power to succeed in everything he tried, and he could have shot from the middle of the field with closed eyes and the ball would yet have found its way to the goal. He had been grasped by an extraordinary strength, he had never felt so powerful, nor ever been ruled by his instincts like that in his whole life before He was only thinking about scoring without realizing that he was making history. Each following goal was more beautiful than the one before, more and more exalting. Nine minutes of pure craziness, nine minutes in which he was possessed by the football’s demon.

He'd only begun to realize that he had accomplished something extraordinary at the end of the game, when Thomas threw himself in his arms looking at him with eyes full of admiration and pride after the final whistle. More important, Thomas didn’t say anything, and this was the absolute proof that something special was happening. Robert almost had the impression that from the two of them Thomas was the happier one.

After he'd received the congratulations from all the members of the team and of the staff, they went to celebrate with the supporters and Thomas, who was probably thinking that he wasn’t pushing himself forward enough, came behind him and after having asked: “May I?” grasped his arms and lifted them up into the sky. This gesture provoked a wave of cheers on the stands and this was certainly one of the happier moments of his life.

After that the young Bavarian, who had quickly found his voice back, was all over him with a deluge of praises and expressions of admiration during all the way back to the dressing-room - (the most frequent one was undeniably “unbelievable”). They didn’t part away during the whole celebration in the dressing-room and that was far from bothering him. There was no one else whom he wanted to celebrate with more, and the fact that his performance achieved to make Thomas be so enthusiastic and happy only added to his happiness.

Suddenly Thomas was struck with the idea that he must immortalize this moment, and he ran for his phone. The way his friend asked him for permission to take a picture was so childlike - and charming - just as if Robert was the biggest star of the planet, and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing while catching his arm to make him come closer and they took a selfie. Thomas sent him their picture and ever since then he cherished it deeply and hoarded it like a treasure.

Now he was thinking about it he should have played the lottery during the end of September. He clearly had an incredible luck during those days since he had the chance to test the new Audi’s racing cars, after is astonishing performance against Wolfsburg, (he of all people who loved speed so much), and to shout out loud that Thomas was accompanying him.

Robert felt like a child on Christmas' Eve. In order not to forget anything about this special day he almost filmed everything, but his favorite video was the one with Thomas playing the pilot of an invisible car in the dressing-room just after he had dressed his racing overall, (one had to say that the young German was very attractive dressed like that). Many times, when he had been feeling a bit down he had watched this video, and it had never failed to make him smile again, (ah Thomas was such a child). And later, when he had begun to allow himself to think more freely about certain things, he had liked to dream of this promotion for their sponsor as an ideal first date. Unfortunately, as pleasant as they were, these dreams were nothing more than dreams.

Every year there was a game that he was looking for in particular, and at the same time he was particularly afraid of it. The Klassiker was special for everyone but especially for him, even if it wasn’t to Mario’s degree, (after all Robert wasn’t a Dortmund child like him).

This time everything went well for Bayern, they won 5-1 with him and Thomas scoring a double. Even years later, he was still shivering when he remembered the celebration of his first goal. There was such a rage, such a passion, such an intensity in Thomas’ eyes. Those few seconds were magical.

At the end of the game he said hello to all of his former teammates, in particular to Marco Reus, who told him that he wished to talk with him longer and in private and therefore asked him to come to Borussia’s dressing-room in ten minutes. A bit surprised, Robert felt delighted at the chance to talk more with his friend nevertheless. So, he hurried up at the end of the celebration in order to rejoin Marco.

The Dortmund players had already returned to their dressing-room several minutes ago, and the blond young man was waiting for him in front of the door. He smiled when he saw him arrive, but his face quickly took on a more serious expression. Marco led him a few steps away, and he started their conversation with something Robert really hadn't seen coming.

“Lewy, I’m sorry to interfere in things that don't concern me, but I need to talk to you about something. I know that I’m not here with you every day any longer, and that I’m just an observer from the outside, but Mario told me a few things, and I was able to observe you by myself during the game, one of the benefits when you have to stay on the bench, and with the messages you sent me… well, in short… is there something between Thomas and you?”

“Whaaaat ?” he was so shocked that this was the only answer he managed to choke out.

Then he thought: Marco must be joking, it had to be one of their stupid games with Mario, that was the only logical explanation. Or else he'd misunderstood the question and his friend Mars was talking about their connection on the pitch.

“Yeah, it's working very well between us on the field. I’m lucky that I found someone who matches with me so well …in a football point of view of course. For the rest… we’re just friends.”

“Ah? If you say so…yet there is something in the way you look at him and in the way he makes you smile and when you…”

Marco stopped talking when he saw Lukasz and Mats coming to them. The four players talked together for a moment, and then Lewy went back to his team, happy to escape from a longer conversation with Marco.

He did his best to avoid thinking about his friend’s words, and this wasn't much of a problem as long as he had someone to talk to. Once he was alone in his car it became much harder though, and by the time he went to bed it became totally impossible not to think of Marco's words again and again.

He was thinking: ‘how was it even possible that Marco had come to such a conclusion? It was clearly ridiculous - just as if it were impossible to be close to someone without anything else happening. It must be Marco and Mario's imagination running wild. They were simply projecting on others what was happening between them, and they were actually quite good at having an ambiguous relationship.

Of course, he was thinking that Thomas… well it was Thomas with everything he could represent for him. But he wasn’t gay, he'd never had any interest in men before. No really, it didn’t make any sense. The best thing he could do was to take that as a joke and forget about it’.

In hindsight Robert ignored if his ability to deny the truth, even when he was confronted with it, was pathetic or admirable.

Considering their excellent performances in the Bundesliga and in the Champions League, the UEFA decided to make a presentation’s video of their duo in which each of them was supposed to say what he was thinking of the other. He hadn’t had any problem with preparing his speech for this occasion, and he felt well prepared for it.

For the production, the director asked them to look at some pictures of the two of them from this year and from last year. At the end of the filming, he stayed there for a few minutes siting on his chair to look at those pictures. They were so beautiful, and they brought back so many good memories. He found them fascinating, and he wasn’t able to stop looking at them. His emotions must have been visible on his face because a young woman approached him and told him quietly:

“You could keep them if you wish.” She smiled and then left him without any other words. A bit surprised, he watched her go away and put the pictures into his pocket.

Two events during the end of 2015 marked the first conscious manifestations about his affection for Thomas, (at least the way more difficult things to interpret as simple friendship). It was the inconvenient - or the advantage - of matches: adrenaline made you think or do things that otherwise you wouldn’t have done or thought.

The first one took place in the Champions League game against Dinamo Zagred, Robert scored the second goal of their match after a splendid assist from Müller and of course, in order to celebrate this, he ran to take the other man in his arms. And at that time, when he saw the rest of his teammates approaching them, he felt overcome by a strong feeling of possessiveness. He tightened his grip around Thomas, and he felt a certain desire to kill this poor Sebastian Rode. It was their moment, their goal, their celebration and most of all it was _his_ Thomas. It only lasted for a few seconds before he finally realized what was happening to him, and he quickly went away.

The second one happened during the last game of the year against Hanover. Thomas had just scored a penalty and, after the team celebration, Robert stayed with him and Rafinhia. Thomas put his elbow on Robert’s shoulder, and Rafinhia was trying to get Thomas’ attention, but the latter was only having eyes for Lewy.

And Robert, seeing their faces so close and Thomas being so handsome with his messy hair, his mouth slightly open, could only think about one thing: _kiss me_.

Those words had barely formed themselves in his mind that he sharply turned his head at the scaring realization of their meaning, blushing furiously, and then he pointed out to his neighbor that Rafa was trying to speak with him. It took him some time to refocus on the game, and later he was still marveling how he'd achieved to do that.

But as always, once alone, the inevitable questions and reminiscences manifested themselves in his mind, and even if he had fought them with all his strength he just couldn't escape them.

He had been thinking something like: 'oh no, it wasn’t possible, it wasn’t true, he hadn’t really… How did it end up like that?' All of this was Marco’s fault with his ridiculous considerations, he'd put those ideas in his head, and now he was thinking about things he never should have though. He was tired after the first half of the season, his mental strength was weaker, and he had let himself be influenced. Their holidays came just in time, he could rest himself, forgot about all of this and spend some time far away from Thomas. This was going to be quite sufficient to fix his troubled mind, wasn't it?


	3. A duo on the top, part 2

When the holidays ended, everything was forgotten, or more exactly all of this was transferred into a new category of his brain: Ridiculous ideas linked with Thomas Müller and caused by Marco Reus.

The second part of the season started, as always, with their training camp in Doha. During those few days they worked very hard, and sometimes the training sessions were really difficult. But that was necessary if the wanted their bodies to be perfectly ready for the decisive moments of the forthcoming games.

During the second night they spent in Doha he suffered from a rather severe insomnia. For more than an hour he lay in his bed, turning from one side to the other to find a comfortable position and fall asleep again, but sleep fled him. He accused alternately the heat or the jet lag to be the reason for his sleeping problems. In the end, unable to stand it anymore, he got up from his bed with the intention to do a little walk outside in order to calm down and refresh himself.

With no particular reason he headed toward the training ground. When he entered the pitch, he realized that he wasn't alone, Thomas was there practicing his juggling. He couldn't stop himself from smiling when he saw the other man, and he congratulated himself for his excellent idea of having a little walk.

"Hey, this isn't how you should do it, you're raising your foot too much. That's why the ball keeps coming back on you." Robert said with an intonation of friendly mockery while approaching Thomas. "How now, 'Mister-perfect-skills' who's always trying to impress everyone, are you in teacher mood tonight?"

"And you, 'Mister-Raumdeuter', who never cares about technique because you think that you're way too smart, are you in student-mood tonight?" Robert gave back in a light tone, waiting for Thomas' reaction.

"Hmm, why not, after all it's a good thing to learn from the best. I'm going to ask Xabi to show me how to do it tomorrow..." The other man drawled, making Robert roll his eyes at him. "Idiot!"

They both laughed and then started to do passes while talking merrily. But Thomas, who apparently was in a teasing mood, suddenly accelerated the rhythm in order to destabilize him. Robert barely managed to catch the ball, laughing at this provocation. Thomas looked back at him with a challenging expression and a small provocative smile. He was clearly defying him and Robert loved it. Their passes came quicker and faster, accompanied with tricks and swerves. They were playing like two children.

They stopped dead in their tracks when they heard voices all of a sudden and two people were entering the training ground, Joshua and David. "Did we interrupt something?" asked David. Lewy immediately answered that it wasn't the case, but he couldn't help blushing slightly, although there was no reason for that. Yet, he had the feeling that there was something ambiguous in the voice of the left back as he was looking back and forth between him and Thomas questioningly.

Joshua suggested that they could do a small match, two against two. His idea was immediately accepted by all the four of them. Robert was so happy to play with Thomas again, even if it was just in a game as silly as a two against two. He'd missed it so much during the holidays, and they gave the two defenders a hard time, doing one-two after long passes and switching of play after short passes.

Usually he didn't have the time to totally appreciate their wonderful connection because of the stress during real matches, but here he didn't have anything else to think about, and he was free to admire what perfect duo they were forming together. When they celebrated their victory with a chest against chest punch, Lewy thought that he had found his football soulmate.

It was impossible not to admire Thomas Müller. He was the kind of person to freely suggest that from now on Robert should be the one taking the penalty-kicks in order to help him catch up with Aubameyang in the race for the title of Bundesliga's best striker, and he stuck to his word without a second of hesitation during their match against Hamburg. Football is actually considered as the most individual of the collective sports, but Thomas didn't fit in this description, he was always ready to help his teammates and to stand back in order to put the others forward.

Robert remembered a game in which Arjen Robben had a little individual crisis, ruining most of their chances because he just wouldn't pass the ball to his teammates. Robert quickly got worked up when he was confronted with Robben's attitude, but Thomas remained calm. And when Arjen finally provided an assist for the young Bavarian player, Thomas ostentatiously thanked the Dutchman for his great pass. Lewy wasn't the recipient of this elegance's lesson, but he profited of it just the same, and ever since that day he made efforts to follow the example of his friend.

Hoffenheim…Ah Hoffenheim… this name was the evocation of a few seconds of pure delight. Nothing special happened during the game itself: he scored a double, and he spent most of his time looking for Thomas, so nothing unusual. Pep had subbed Müller out around an hour of playing, but he joined the rest of the team on the pitch at the end of the game in order to celebrate their victory. It was drizzling and Thomas went from player to player of both teams, sometime chatting a little bit longer with one or another.

Robert was thinking that his turn was slow in coming, so he decided to do the first step and rejoined his fellow striker. Once he had reached him, they smiled at each other, and Thomas offered him his hand. Robert shook it, but instead of stopping here the other young man came closer and laid his other hand on his head, stroking Lewy's wet hair. Robert's smile faded away and he stayed absolutely still for a short time. Then he gave in and slowly lowering his head, he nestled his face against Thomas' neck. He closed his eyes and breathed in and out deeply, filling his nose with his friend's unique scent. But such a surrender couldn't last for long, and Robert had to move away, way to quickly for his own liking.

Yet, Thomas had a different idea, he released Robert's hand and slowly slid his own hand around Robert's hips, caressing his stomach in the process. Thomas' other hand, the one that was in his hair, descended on his shoulder and then all along his back before leaving his body.

Thomas didn't let him go, still holding his waist even when Joshua came to congratulate Lewy. They stayed like that for a few seconds, and then Thomas finally removed his hand again. However, he didn't go away but he remained by his side while they headed back to the dressing room. They were walking so close to each other that their arms were brushing.

How to describe Lewy's feelings during those few minutes? How to speak about the fire that started to burn inside him all of a sudden during those few moments? The temperature was cold at the end of that long gone January's afternoon, but the skin of each part of his body where Thomas had laid one of his hands upon was burning. He wasn't wearing his jersey as he'd given it to a player from the opposite team, but only an undershirt made of very thin material - which had made him feel the warmth of his friend's hands their movements on his body all the more. His heart was racing, he was shivering, and butterflies were dancing in his belly.

He tried to act normally and not to let his inner turmoil show, but if he achieved to do what he was supposed to do, it was only thanks to the force of habit, as his sole attention was focused only on one thing: Thomas. To consider that so little was sufficient to make him feel so much.

However, there's none so deaf as those who don't want to hear, none so blind as those who don't want to see, and Robert was desperate not to see or hear. And so he found a good explanation for everything that had happened: the shivers were due to the cold, the butterflies to some intestinal problem, the speed of his heartbeats to the efforts of the game and so on. Inside of him he knew that none of this was true but it is a hundred time easier to believe that you were falling sick than to admit that you were falling in love.

A few years later he had questioned himself about the reasons that could have induced Thomas to act like he'd done back then. Although he had hoped to be able to understand it otherwise, the sole reasonable explanation was still that it was nothing more than a sign of friendship, a simple way to congratulate him for his two goals… In one world something perfectly innocent, the simple gesture of an affectionate temper and nothing more. But yet… if only… but no, that was impossible.

During this time, he kept a very ambiguous position, on one hand he was categorically refusing to try to understand what was happening to him, and on the other hand he couldn't help himself from acting like a lovesick teenager, but he always found himself good excuses for his actions.

For example, why he was jogging in the forest around Müller's house for some time already. The official reason was that it was quiet place with a path suitable for this activity and the inofficial reason was that he secretly hoped to meet Thomas during their off days.

Until now it hadn't worked, but after their game against Bochum in the DFB Pokal, the rain caught him by surprise, and he found shelter under the branches of a tree that protruded from the wall of a garden. He must have been there for five minutes or so, and he was beginning to feel cold when he heard a noise coming a few meters from behind him and he saw his teammate approaching him with an umbrella in his hand. Thomas had exited from the garden the tree under which he'd found refuge belonged to. His friend immediately invited him to come with him and warm himself up in his house, and Robert accepted his offer with joy as he joined Thomas under the umbrella.

Robert was perfectly ignorant of the fact that this was his friend's house. Of course, he had visited him a few times but he only knew the main entrance and the front of the house, he had never seen the end of the garden.

The young Bavarian explained to him that he'd seen him standing under the tree from one of the windows of his house that was situated slightly above the path. Fate was definitely doing things well.

He was drenched, and Thomas offered him to wash his clothes, also suggesting that he should take a bath and wait here for the end of the rain. Robert didn't want to appear ungrateful - (official reason) - and he was also way too excited by the opportunity that offered itself to him - (inofficial reason) - to refuse Thomas' offer. The latter gave him spare clothes which, even though they were a bit too short for him, immediately had more value to him than all the luxury clothes he'd bought in his life.

Once changed, Thomas offered him a cup of tea, which he accepted, (no decent Pole could refuse a cup of tea). They sat together on the sofa in front of the fireplace where a fire was burning slowly. Robert had always loved Thomas' house, he felt comfortable here. Even though the young man was living alone there was a family spirit in this place. When he was here Lewy rediscovered feelings from his childhood when, before his father's death, they'd spent the long winter evenings together.

Once comfortably set up they started having a conversation. They'd never had any difficulties to talk together which was, to a big part, because of Thomas' talent as an orator, but also because of his friend's ability to make him feel perfectly at ease and to erase all reservations or shyness that might still be left in him. Their discussions were always very vivid, full of gestures, exclamations and laughter. They talked about many things, was it Bayern, the season, golf, cooking, Poland, their childhood, their career… From time to time Robert looked out of the window to see whether or not it was still raining, praying that the heavy rainfall would never end.

Night was slowly falling and they spent their afternoon chatting, eating biscuits and drinking tea (typically the kind of activities you could expect from two footballers on a rainy day). Suddenly they heard the doorbell ring. Thomas went to open the door, and he came back in the company of his brother. Apparently, the Müller brothers had plans for dinner together, and Robert had had the impression that there was something strange in the way Simon was looking at him.

Robert immediately prepared himself to leave. As Robert was declining all invitations to stay for dinner, Thomas finally offered to drive him with his car to the place where Robert had parked his own car earlier this afternoon. The ride was short, but when the moment arrived for them to part and Lewy was babbling his thanks, Thomas interrupted him by laying a hand on his arm and saying "no, I have to thank you. I had a great afternoon, Lewy." They both smiled and Robert, feeling touched, simply answered "me too!" and left the car.

On his way home, he was thinking that, thanks to their conversation, now he understood better why he was admiring Thomas so much. When he was young, he'd had a hard time with getting a place in the starting eleven in several teams because his coaches kept repeating that he was too skinny, and so he'd had to transform his body to be accepted. Whereas Thomas, remaining what he was, achieved to make himself a place in one of the biggest European clubs, his talent at football had been enough in his case.

During the following weeks, he let himself be more and more guided by his instincts and his feelings, and nothing illustrated that better than what had happened during their game against Augsburg.

Lewandowski opened the score with a right footed shot, thanks to a cross from Thomas. Then, without any logical cause, after all it was "only" Augsburg, he felt himself be captured by a frenetic joy, and from that moment on he lost all of his control. Perhaps it was owed to the fact that it was Valentine's day that unconsciously influenced him so much.

Even before the ball had hit the net fully he began to run in Thomas' direction - who was waiting for him at the edge of the penalty area. The second their eyes met, they started to scream with all their strength. Then their bodies collided and, like when two stars collide, everything exploded in a powerful release of energy.

Thomas grasped his right arm and slid his other hand around his waist. They didn't stop starring at each other even for a second and now their faces were only a few centimeters apart. They were still screaming their lungs out. They defied each other as much as they celebrated, they united as much as they opposed, they confronted as much as they got closer.

Their foreheads touched, and suddenly Robert found himself lost in Thomas' eyes. He'd always admired their beauty, but it was the first time he had the opportunity to see them so closely. The entire world was represented in these two bottomless orbs. The right eye was of a pale green with some hints of brown, and it was like a perfect mirror of earth and nature, while the left eye made of grey and blue made him think of the sky and the see.

Then Robert slid one of his arms around Thomas' neck, drawing him even closer to himself while he was slightly lifting his left leg in a movement close to what you could see in the old movies' kissing scenes. Their positions had gradually reversed, and while Robert had been the dominant one at the beginning, Thomas was the one taking advantage of him in the end.

Their teammates who had kept their distance at first, respecting that it was their moment finally began to approach them, perhaps a little bit afraid that things might go too far between them. Hearing them coming closer they brought some distance between themselves, but they were unable to totally let go off each other completely. Thomas kept holding his waist, and Lewy refused to remove the arm he had placed around his friend's neck. Which was fortunate because Robert's head was spinning, and he had the impression that his legs were no longer able to carry him.

He was absolutely lost. Joy, violence, passion, affection, sensuality, impetuosity, roughness, tenderness, friendship, love, pride… all of these emotions mingled together during this brief moment.

Contrary to what had happened a few other times before, this crazy celebration didn't make him lose his connection to the game. Quite the opposite, he lost himself in football with the same passion he'd drowned in Thomas' eyes with.  
Something was preventing him that day to think and analyze too much. He didn't want to constrict himself, to hide or to restrain, and he let himself be carried away by whatever was happening that day. After all he wouldn't have played for Borussia Dortmund during all those years if they hadn't seen his passion, the way he burnt for football, the romanticism that characterized this club helping him to become the footballer he now was.

This sheer madness bore its fruits as he scored a second goal after an hour of play-time. And even though Thomas wasn't involved in that goal, (Thiago did the assist this time), Robert immediately turned to him for the celebration. If it wasn't for what had happened a few minutes ago, he would have thought that this second celebration was particularly intense. Once again, they held each other like there was no tomorrow and screamed their heads off.

But things didn't stop there, as just a quarter of an hour later it was Thomas' turn to score a goal. However, Douglas was the quicker to react this time, (he was also the one who had provided the assist), and he jumped in Thomas' arms. But Robert - who had decided to throw away his caution for the time of the match - ran to them, and when he reached them Thomas and Douglas opened their arms for him, inviting Robert to snuggle himself into the young German's arms. He melted into the embrace and closed his eyes, resting his head on his friend's shoulder, and he forgot about anything else.

Now that the match was finished, he was back to his senses, and it was primordial for him not to think about what had happened. However, it was way easier said than done, especially when you discovered during the evening that you had three missed calls from Marco Reus. Robert could easily image what his friend had to say to him.

Yet Marco should be aware that those kinds of things happened in football. He should know that the fact of scoring a goal could make you feel ecstatic and that you could do things then you normally wouldn't do. If this behavior, in real life, could be analyzed in a certain way, in the context of a football game it got a totally different meaning. After all he and Marco had acted in a much more compromising manner after their qualification against Real, and neither of them had interpreted it as something more than a simple display of joy and friendship.

At that time, he had been quite proud of himself and of this reasoning. However, he didn't totally fool himself, and a small voice whispered in his head that he was talking about a qualification for the Champions League final, the first of their life, when here they were talking about a Bundesliga's game against Augsburg, with whom they surely had a certain regional rivalry but nothing more. The voice added that - more important - the gestures you made were not as crucial as the feelings that had while doing them and what those feelings implied.

Apparently, Marco didn't appreciate the fact that he ignored him because a few days later, a certain adventure happened to him during training, and he strongly suspected his former teammate to be partially responsible for that.

At the end of practice, Pep asked them to form small groups for a ball-control's exercise. The rules were simple, they had to pass the ball from one to the other, the first time they were only allowed to use their right foot, then only the left, then the knees… and so on.

He and Thomas were invited to join a group together with Mario, Thiago, Joshua, Phillip and Xabi. Before the start of the exercise Mario suggested, in order to make this more interesting, that the person who was going to drop the ball the most should have to pay a forfeit. Everyone accepted the idea with enthusiasm, and so the game began.

Even though he did pretty well Thomas was the one who lost the game, and you had to say that their team really included particularly skilled players (what a coincidence). The others pretended to confer for a brief moment, and then Lahm announced with an impressive seriousness: "As this is a public training session and cameras are everywhere, we couldn't' ask you for more, so we decided that you will have to hold Robert in your arms for two minutes." Mario then added with a mischievous smile: "Hold him close, this very important." Of course, everyone laughed at this statement.

This was how he and Thomas found themselves hugging each other tightly in the middle of the Säbener Strasse's main training ground. To be honest, there wasn't anything unpleasant about that. Especially since, thanks to Thomas inability to stay still, the young man was regularly changing his position, brushing a certain part of Lewy's body with his legs in the process or letting his hands glide over his lower back (even sometimes lower).

Robert couldn't see himself, but he knew all too well that he was blushing and smiling approvingly. Thomas was strangely serious, and the others were watching them with a little knowing smile. As for the rest of the team they were walking past them without paying any attention to what was happening, as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

Phillip who was in charge of the timer eventually told them that the time was finished, and they parted away.

On his way to the dressing-room he was joined by Mario, who was still displaying this annoyingly knowing smile. The young forward asked him in an incredibly innocent voice "Soooo?"  
"So, what?" Robert retorted as nonchalantly as possible.  
"Well, what did you feel?"  
"Nothing! Nothing of course! What did you expect me to feel? It's Thomas."  
"Yes, exactly." Mario kept smiling, and Robert wanted to roll his eyes.  
"Oh no! Not you too, Mario!"

"I'm sorry, but yes - me too. I had my doubts at first, but I think that Marco is right. Moreover, this little demonstration was quite revealing."

"Which demonstration?"

"Just let me tell you that there was a time when you were a lot more honest… And also when you were way quicker on the uptake."  
Mario laughed while saying these last words and then he merrily ran to rejoin Jo and their captain. And suddenly Robert understood: this idiot, or to be more precisely, these two idiots, had planned all of this!

Robert got the impression that for some time something changed slightly in Thomas' behavior. It was nothing spectacular but last year he'd always been the one who was looking for his friend's attention, and now Thomas would be the one initiating things at times. You couldn't say that they were both playing that game, but from time to time Thomas would join in.

What made him notice this was something that happened after their game against Wolfsburg. Robert was shaking the referees' hands when all of a sudden Thomas arrived behind him and playfully grasped his neck. Lewy immediately fled but he quickly changed his mind and he walked back in Thomas' direction. He tried to stay impassive in order to surprise his teammate, but it didn't last long and he smiled mischievously before it was his turn to playfully shove Thomas.

They teased each other like that during the rest of the afternoon, even when they were back in their hotel. The rest of the team certainly thought that they were infinitely childish, and it was true. It was one of the things that characterized the two of them, they were true adults in some circumstances and true children in others. 

The round of the 16 between Bayern and Juventus that took place this year could be considered as the best round of the 16, in a pure footballing point of view, in the history of the competition. The opposition of style, the tactical battle between the two trainers gave a particular relish and a thrilling scenario to these matches.

The first game ended up in a draw, 2-2, Thomas and Robben scoring for Bayern, Dybala and Sturaro doing the same for Juventus.

During the second game in the Allianz Arena, Bayern conceded their first goal after only five minutes. Pogba scored a goal after a mistake of Neuer and Alaba. A few minutes later a second goal was disallowed to Morata for a dubious offside. However, Juventus doubled the score around the 30th minutes. The Bayern's midfield had lost the ball, and it was recuperated by Alvaro who passed it to Cuadrado. The Colombian got rid of two defenders and scored. Bayern only had one good opportunity to score during this first-half but Thomas' shot was too axial to worry Buffon in earnest.

When the half-time break arrived Bayern was potentially eliminated. Lewy felt horribly downcast. He was thinking that there was no chance that they could score two goals against one of the best defenses in the world. Pep spoke to them but it didn't particularly help him to get his confidence back either.

His feelings must have been quite visible on his face because Thomas crossed the locker-room and asked him to follow him outside. Intrigued, Robert stood up and Thomas guided him to a deserted corridor of the Allianz Arena.

"Lewy you can't give up now, nothing is done yet, truly! We have at least 45 minutes to play and someone who could score 5 goals in 9 minutes can pretty much score two goals in three quarters of an hour too, right? We need you, more than ever. Please don't let us down. We have to prove that the football in which we both believe, you and I, is not only a beautiful show but can also make you win matches. I can't do that by myself, and if you're not to a hundred percent here with me, I won't be able to do anything. Football is played to 20% with your feet, to 35% with the heart and to 45% with the head. It's all in your head, if you believe in yourself as much as I'm believing in you then no one will be able to stop you." When he said this last sentence, Thomas emphasized his words by pointing at Robert's head with his index.

Lewy looked up into his teammate's eyes, and when he saw determination and faith shining there there his last doubts flew away. The idea that they were going to succeed suddenly seemed to be possible, and so he answered his friend with a simple "we're going to win this game!" that came out of his mouth as if it was an already established truth.

Thomas smiled at him, they hugged and then returned to the rest of the team. While he was following Thomas on their way back to the dressing-room Robert was asking himself: "when did Thomas become such a leader?" His friend wasn't the extroverted boy that no one took seriously (not even himself) anymore, but a future Bayern's captain who was walking in front of him with firm steps.

Since Schweini had left Bayern Thomas had gradually and naturally taken the place Bastian had left in the team and Lewy, with his slow understanding, was only realizing that tonight. Fips was a discreet, quiet leader who was more guiding others through his actions than doing that with words. Even though his efficacy and his authority were undeniable, he needed someone that would do the talking for him and Basti had been the one playing this role until his departure.

Pep did a change before the game restarted, he subbed out the only real center back present on the pitch so far in the person of Benatia to sub in Juan Bernat. The Bayern were now playing with a charming central defense composed of Kimmich and Alaba, according to a disposition that they had used a lot recently due to the injuries of all of their center backs.

By doing this they took a hug risk considering the situation, but their new defense was quicker and that was going to help them in stopping the counter attacks. Plus, Bernat's activity on the left-side was going to be very useful in order to stretch the opposite team, something that was essential for them in order to find enough space despite the density of players created by the Juventus' four defenders and five midfielders.

The game had restarted for no more than five minutes and Robert received a yellow card for what the referee considered to be a foul on Evra. He judged it as a quite unfair decision because at the same time he was the victim of a foul from Alex Sandro. Lewy immediately talked to the referee and Thomas joined him, putting a protective hand around his waist. After a few seconds of debating with the side line referee, the man ordered them to stop here and to get away. Thomas gently led Lewy away before things turned out to become bad, and to his own surprise he let himself be guided by his friend, his anger dissipating as his teammate pulled him away. The simple presence of Thomas calmed him.

After that it was Xabi's turn to exit and Coman replaced him. Guardiola had clearly decided to take all the possible risks during this game, his intention was undeniably to create a real offensive imbalance. It surely looked illogical from the outside, but it was actually the best thing to do. They were losing anyway so the worst thing that could happen to them was a 4-0 defeat instead of a 2-0. This way they were at least trying to win.

Coman placed himself as a right winger, so the team shifted from a 4-2-3-1 to a 4-1-3-2 as Douglas placed himself behind Robert and Thomas. The young Frenchman's speed and impact was going to trouble Evra, who wasn't the quickest player, and with Kingsley playing on with his strong foot the young forward was going to make crosses for his two strikers. Bayern began to multiply the chances, but Neuer also had to make a few crucial stops.

Allegri made his first mistake by taking out his most dangerous player in the person of Alvaro Morata.

At the 73th minutes Douglas who was positioned at the right corner of the penalty box made a beautiful left-footed cross and Robert, who was lurking at the second post, hit the ball with a powerful header. He was well helped by the fact that eight Bayern players were present in or just around the penalty area during this action (including their two "center backs").

After the celebration with the team, while he was heading back to the center circle for the kick-off, Robert saw Thomas and he pointed at him with his two hands in order to dedicate this goal to him and to make it even clearer he indicated his head and yelled: "With the head!!!" (the bad pun was intended).

After that the Bavarians began to assault the Juventus' goal, and the Italian players weren't able to create any other chances themselves, especially after Cuadrado had been sub out.

Coman crossed the ball to the far post, Thomas who was standing perfectly free from all opponents shut down the ball into goal with his head before Buffon had time to interfere. It was the 90th minutes, 2-2, Bayern was going to play the extra-time.

Robert was the first to congratulate his teammate, the others joined them quickly, but Lewy refused to let go of Thomas. Unfortunately, the referee was on their way and separated them. However, Müller didn't forget him and while they were turning back to their positions after that crucial and saving goal, like Robert had done a few minutes before, Thomas turned around to face him, and pointing at his head with his index he said: "the head!" Robert could only smile at that.

Thomas was right, they'd achieved a great come back thanks to their mental strength and their tactical intelligence. Now it was the time to realize his own prediction and win this match.

Pep did his last substitution, replacing Ribery by Thiago. Their coach knew that from now on another game had started and that a change of plan was necessary. They had used the sides to come back, but now the opposing team's defense had certainly understood that as well, and now they had to surprise them anew. Who'd be better for that than Thiago with his creativity to be able to do that?

They had dominated the beginning of the first part of the extra-time, the Old Lady hadn't been dangerous even once. Indeed, the presence of Alcantara paid off as in the 108th minutes Robert won the ball on a bad clearance from the Juventus' defense, then he played a one-two with Thomas in order to lose his marker, and he shot a right footed cross-strike. This was the 3-2 of the victory. Bayern was qualified for the quarter-finals of the Champions League!

Two minutes later Coman scored a goal which was very similar to Robben's trade mark goal. The win was now sure. Of course, the Turinese tried to react, but Neuer was at his best tonight.

That day the offensively minded football won over the defensive one, the proactive coach over the passive one, aesthetic over efficiency. When the final-whistle rang out, Thomas and Robert turned toward each other. Thomas laid his hands on each side of his face, and Robert put his own hands on his friend's shoulders, and as they apparently were unable to express their joy in any other way they both just screamed.

The following day of this epic match, he and Thomas were participating in a show created by the Bayern's TV: 'Mia san Dran'. Robert spent more than an hour this morning to do his hairstyle. He was telling himself that he was doing this in order to look good on the screen, but for real he was doing this because of the person whom he was going to appear on the screen with.

Usually he didn't like such kind of things, he was always feeling a little uneasy in front of the camera. Even though he'd gain some more confidence since he was a lot more at ease with German, he kept a certain apprehension nevertheless. He had the feeling that either way his shyness was too apparent or - if he was trying to hide it - he was totally affected.

Robert did his best to ignore whether Thomas had actually realized that he was tense - or if his friend simply had the power to always make him feel at ease. Anyway, his teammate actively employed himself in order to help him getting rid of his stress before the shooting began, and it worked because when the emission started his only preoccupation was to spend some good time in Thomas' company. Thanks to him he felt perfectly at ease during the whole quiz. The atmosphere during this half of an hour of shooting was really good. In addition to that he was the winner - which didn't displease him - and he was sure as hell going to tease Thomas about it for weeks.

In a general way, the Juventus event allowed them to come even closer. Now they were having their little signs only they were able to understand in their full meaning. For instance, during their game against Köln a few days later, Thomas, who was sitting on the bench, had observed that Lewy wasn't doing that well during this game, and this although he'd scored the first goal. So, the young man benefiting from a pause in the match called him and encouraged him by pointing at his forehead with his index finger (a gesture which exposed Thomas to a few mockeries of Frank Ribery).

With the springtime the Champions League came back. The quarter-final against Benfica had been more complicated than expected but they achieved to reach the semi-finals.

At that time Pep had decided to reinforce his midfield and so Thomas and Robert were rarely playing together, alternating in the role of the striker.

Their opponent in the next stage was Atlético Madrid, the club that had knocked out Barcelona.

Lewy didn't have good memories of this first leg in Vicente-Caldéron, quite the opposite. Atlético applied his usual tactical plan: a strong pressing during the first quarter of hour that allowed them to open the score and after that they withdraw in defense and tried to maintain the score.

Robert was alone in the attack that day as Bayern was playing in a 4-1-4-1. Since the moment when Bayern took control of the ball, (after the first quarter of hour) - and therefore since the moment when he was going to be useful - Robert found himself trapped in Colchoneros' defense. He was constantly marked by several defenders, constantly hustled, constantly physically assaulted. He received an impressive number of blows.

The wingers, who were the only offensive players actually having some space (as most of the opposite team was regrouped in or around the penalty box), multiplied the crosses but he wasn't able to make any use of them. Even when some of the midfielders came into the penalty area to help him, they were immediately marked by the opposite midfield that was playing as a second defensive line.

He was feeling terribly alone, and he started to pray for Thomas to be here with him. Never before had he ever felt so much the need to have someone playing alongside with him. Müller could create space, distract the defenders and trouble them. And even if Thomas couldn't achieve to do that due to the circumstances, the simple fact of having someone here to help him would do him a world of good. At least to calm him down and to stop him from answering to the blows he received. During all this time he was chanting his friend's name in his head. From time to time he gave a desperate look to the bench, but Pep didn't seem ready to grant him his silent prayer.

Thomas finally came in at the 70th minutes, but Bayern didn't equalize. Robert felt extremely frustrated after that game, one team played for 15 minutes, and the other for the rest of the match, but the first one won and the second didn't even manage to score a goal.

He felt a huge wave of relief when he heard that Thomas was going to play in the second game.

Bayern made a very strong start, depraving Atlético of his usual key moment and making them immediately go backward. They achieved to answer to the Spaniards' intensity and the grinta. Thomas' presence allowed them to escape from all sorts of one-against-one- situations in the offensive phases, something that troubled the opposite team with their man-to-man defense quite a lot. Bayern also set up a very efficient counter-pressing that allowed them to quickly get the ball back high on the pitch after losing it, and so to immediately create a new attack.

Like the last time Lewy received blows, but on that day he didn't have this awful feeling of being isolated and useless. He was able to take revenge of the opposite center backs, thanks to the dangerous play he was creating. Their domination was recompensed when Xabi Alonso scored a splendid free-kick after half an hour of the game.

Three minutes later, Bayern obtained a penalty after a foul of Gimenez during a corner. Thomas, who was in charge of it, moved forward to do the penalty kick. The young man took a deep breath to calm down and be more lucid. He ran and then he shot the ball with his right foot, unfortunately the kick was too central and Oblak stopped the ball.

That was a first turn in the game. After this missed penalty-kick, Bayern wasn't able to maintain the rhythm that they had imposed so far, slowly letting Atlético bounce back. However, at half time they were leading 1-0 with 17 attempts for them and only 2 for their opponents, they had clearly dominated the debates in this first-half.

Before the game restarted Simeone subbed in Carasco, and his team switch in a 4-5-1 system. His idea was to block the offensive activity of the Bayern's center-backs and prevent them from playing this high. The reinforcement of the midfield also aimed to stop the Bavarians to use the sides once more. But in order to stop the Bavarian defenders' activity, Gabi and Koke had to play higher, which created space in their backs and Robert and his team had no troubles in alternating axial or lateral offensives. However, none of the many chances they had created led to a goal, most of the time because of several in extremis- saves from the Spaniards' defense.

If they were dangerous it was the same for their opponent. They began to make a better use of the counter-attacks. At the 53th Griezman equalized for Atlético, making use of a ball loss by Boateng.

During the following 10 minutes, Atletico resisted perfectly to all of the Bavarians' offensives. Then Pep decided to intervene, and he replaced Douglas Costa, who wasn't in his best form that night and did little on his side, sending Coman on the pitch instead. They needed, like they had done so at the beginning of the match, to create a permanent outnumber.

Bayern's reaction was good and their opponent began to grow weaker physically, all the time jeopardized by the Germans' recurrent offensives. Lewandowski scored their second goal on a header with an assist from Vidal. 2-1, Bayern was winning but wasn't qualified because of the away goal rule. If they achieved to score one more goal, they were going to play the final.

Time passed and they created some more opportunities. They felt that their opponents were on their last legs but the so much desired goal wasn't coming. Guardiola didn't make any change. Even worse, the Colchoneros obtained a penalty-kick five minutes before the end of the game but, by chance, Manu saved it.

The tension was growing more and more. Robert was exhausted, he'd fought so much that he had lost all kind of lucidity and efficiency. He had three chances to score, certainly their last ones, but he didn't convert any of them. No more than a few seconds and then the final whistle mark the end of the game. It was too late now, everything was finished.

He collapsed on the pitch. Tonight, the defensive minded football won over the offensive one, intensity over aesthetic…

Suddenly he felt a strong desire to cry. While he was there, lying on the field trying to fight against his tears, he felt a hand on his arm and another one patting his stomach in a comforting gesture. "Lewy, it's going to be good. I know that it's terrible, but it's not the end. Next year everything starts again. You have nothing to feel ashamed of, quite the contrary. You should be proud of this game, you have to be proud of you. Thank you, thank you for all the things you did for the team." Robert didn't have to open his eyes to know whom this voice belonged to. It was firm, calm, comforting even in such circumstances, and Thomas' courage moved him even more. "Thank you," he answered in a whisper, and the first tears fell on his cheeks.

To be honest, he ignored the reason why he was crying. Was it because of the defeat or was-it because Thomas had come to comfort him? Yet, no matter what it was that had caused these tears, they did him good, thanks to them his heart was la lot less heavy. Now he was able to get up and to congratulate his opponents or comfort his teammates, like the circumstances required.

Lewy had a lot of regrets about that night. Of course, he was regretting the goals he'd missed and their elimination, but what was disturbing him the most wasn't linked with sports. What he was truly regretting was the fact he hadn't helped Thomas like the young man had done it for him, it was the fact that he hadn't understood that his friend, despite the appearances, had been deeply affected by what had happened that night. He was blind, stupid!

Robert would have loved to explain to him that he wasn't the one responsible for this defeat, that most of them had had so many opportunities that were equivalent to a penalty-kick, and they all had missed them, that he was not less guilty than anyone of them, that everyone admired what he had done that night, that he must be proud of himself, that his presence had transformed their performance to such higher levels compared to the first match… and many other things.

But he didn't, because as usual he was selfish, he only thought about his own sorrow. Not the one from the elimination of the Champions League but the one to know that a few words from him wouldn't be sufficient to comfort his teammate like it had been the case for him, to know that he didn't have the same power over Thomas as Thomas had over him, to know that it could take him hours to obtain something - in one word to know that his friend was way more important in his eyes than Robert was for him. He couldn't stand being confronted with this sad reality. He was a terrible coward, and now he was terribly annoyed with himself about it.

The shades of Altlético vanished little by little under the sun of May. Life resumed its usual course, the Bundesliga reasserted itself and the Pokal final showed up on the horizon.

Against Ingolstadt they validated their champion's title. The next weekend they played the last game of the championship season against Hanover. Lewy scored the first Bayern's goal and, as Thomas wasn't playing, he ran in the direction of the bench in order to celebrate with him. This year couldn't end in a different way, after all it was their year.

This year they'd made their entrance into the history of the Bundesliga as a duo. With 50 goals scored by the two of them this season, they got close to such symbolic association as Grafite and Dzeko (54 goals) or Müller and Hoeness (53 goals). For a long time, everyone was going to remember the famous Müller-Lewandowski attack.

The usual title celebration with beer and music came after that. Robert received the Torjägekanone as a reward for his 30 goals (of which about a third had been assisted by Thomas).

On that night, Bayern as usual organized the gala dinner that celebrated the end of the year. Thomas did a speech, as expected from him, and Robert was the only one who listened to it religiously. He was also the only one, after the supper, who tried to dance with the young Bavarian all night long, unfortunately without success.

There were two situations in which everyone with their common sense still intact was trying to avoid Thomas: when he was holding a microphone and when he was dancing. But Robert who had lost his common sense a long time ago felt himself be drawn to Thomas in all possible and impossible situations.

Lewy could digest a ridiculous amount of alcolhol without getting drunk, and the only difference in his behavior that one could notice after a few glasses was a slight mutism. Therefore he was rather surprised when Thomas came to offer him to accompany him home at the end of the party. He accepted the other man's proposal immediately though, of course with no other reason than that it was for the safety of all of them, (like he hadn't had the intention to call a taxi from the beginning anyway).

He followed his friend to his car and once he was seated he had a sudden desire to listen to a song that was running through his mind. He asked for Thomas' permission, and with his teammate's approval he got his phone out. " Dzien dobry, kocham Cie " (Good morning, I love you) sang the singer during the refrain, joined by Lewy's voice who was singing along with him while the lights of the sunrise were illuminating Munich.

Once the song had ended, they remained silent for a while, and then Robert turned his head toward his neighbor and asked him without thinking: "Thomas, the other day you said that there was a special connection between you and me. What does that mean? What kind of special connection? What kind of feelings? Is it friendship or… something different?" Thomas briefly looked at him, obviously surprised before starting to stammer a few unintelligible words, clearly very embarrassed.

Realizing what he'd just said Robert blushed violently, hastening to tell his friend to forget about this stupid question. An uneasy silence settled between them, and fortunately they quickly arrived to Robert's house. He thanked his driver, excused himself for what had happened, saying that he wasn't really thinking straight and then he left the car.

The following morning, when he woke up, he remembered exactly every little thing that had happened during that night, and he asked himself what had gotten into him to act as unreasonable as he'd done last night.

In order to promote the incoming German Cup final, which was going to take place at the end of the week, he and Thomas were asked to do a little interview.

He kept mixed feelings about what had happened that day.

As always, Thomas talked without realizing what he was saying, he was all innocence and pure joke. After all it wasn't his fault that Robert had such a twisted mind and that he was seeing double meanings in everything or that some of his friend's sentences awoke some very strange feelings in him.

For example, when they were questioned about what they would like to have from each other, Thomas really surprised him when he answered: "I would like to have his…his body." Lewy quickly realized that the way he'd understood this sentence at first wasn't really appropriate, but that didn't stop him from being captured by a hot wave. And even acknowledging the real meaning of Thomas' statement didn't change that as the simple fact of knowing that his friend was admiring his body was enough to make him be strangely happy.

But of course, Thomas didn't stop there. After that he added that he would also like to speak Polish and to use Zloty. Which turned out in Robert's head as "I want to live in Poland," (and a traitorous voice added in his mind "with me"). To top it all, Thomas finally assessed that Lewy was perfect, and that he wasn't in need of anything, another sentence that had more than a brief effect on him as well.   
Finally it was his turn to answer the question, and when he said that he would like to have Thomas' ability to always be there when someone needed him - because Thomas was always there to help you, even when you had the impression to be completely alone. Robert didn't realize that all these beautiful football's explanations could have and actually did have a double meaning.

However, a few minutes later Thomas destroyed all the pleasure he'd given to him so far, as the young man declared that they weren't a duo and that they were only associated because they were the team's top scorers. Lewy was hurt by these words because he considered them as a duo, and even though he knew that deep inside himself Thomas was thinking the same and that he was only saying such things to value the work of the entire team it was still hard to hear. He tried to hide his sadness and to keep on smiling and laughing but he wasn't in the mood for that anymore.

"Nor is the earth the less, or loseth ought,  
For whatsoever from one place doth fall,  
Is with the tide unto another brought."

It was the same with Thomas, all that Lewy could lose in one day was given back to him a hundred times the next one and then he was losing everything again and so on.

During the German Cup final, none of the two teams managed to take the advantage after 120 minutes of playing and so it ended up in a penalty shoot-out.

Thanks to Neuer, who saved the first two penalties from Sokratis and Sven Bender, Bayern was leading. However, Kimmich missed his penalty-kick and the score was now of 2-1. Aubameyang scored without difficulties and so Thomas had to succeed if the Bavarians wanted to keep the lead. Lewy was a little worried to know if the memories of what had happened against Atlético were going to trouble Müller, but the young man easily scored. Robert had concluded then that everything was good and that the fateful semi-final match didn't have any after-effect. So, it was with an entire confidence in this conclusion that he was the first to move forward and to congratulate his teammate. Douglas Costa didn't fail and Bayern won the 2015-16's DFB Pokal.

During the trophy ceremony the atmosphere was divided between the joy of the victory and the sadness of Pep Guardiola's departure. It was the end of the club's collaboration with one of the greatest contemporary manager. The team might not have won as much as what had been expected under Guardiola's guidance, but with him as their coach Bayern had played the most beautiful football of their history.

Many players had improved thanks to him, the best example was Kimmich who had been entirely mold by him. With some others it hadn't worked so well, like it was the case with Mario. The two of them had sincerely tried to understand each other, but they had never achieved to do it. Neither of them was really responsible for this, Mario was meant to play for Dortmund and not for Bayern, and no one could go against their fate.

On a personal point of view, Robert was always going to be thankful for Pep because he was the one who had made him come to the Bavarian team and the one who had established him as the club's usual striker.

Following the traditional trophy ceremony, the players went to celebrate with the Bayern fans who were sitting in one of the stadium's curve. There, all the repertoire of the celebration songs was exploited, they danced and yelled… well they were doing all the things that were appropriate for such a celebration.

Taken by the atmosphere of the festivities, Robert found himself, without knowing exactly how, lying on the floor with a pilling of his teammates next to him. When his neighbors began to gradually disengage themselves, one of them slid down on him and sat on his lap. This is how, during a DBF Pokal final evening, Thomas Müller granted one of Robert Lewandowski's wishes, a wish which he'd chosen to ignore so far.

He was convinced that as soon as Thomas was going to realize the situation the young man would instantly move away, but nothing of this sort had happened. With this delicious unconsciousness that defined him - and which was the cause of both Lewy's delights and torments, his friend stayed where he was as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

They looked in each other's eyes, then Thomas began to laugh and to pat Robert's neck in a sign of encouragement, congratulation and affection (exactly in the same way the young German was acting with his horses). Lewy caught his friend's hand to stop him as he was beginning to worry for his cervical vertebrae health. They set to tease each other and then to talk and to laugh as if the rest of the world wasn't existing anymore.

Ever since then Robert had relived this scene many times in his dreams, to such an extent that sometimes he was asking himself if this wasn't a dream. Wasn't there something dreamlike in the fact of sitting alone with Thomas in the middle of a giant Bayern crest?

When he stood up, he briefly looked to see whether or not the Dortmund players were still on the pitch. Luckily it wasn't the case because otherwise Marco wouldn't have left him be during the whole summer.

This year Poland was going to participate in the Euros that took place in France. Between the different games that they had to play there was one that he remembered the date and the place months clearly even months later: the 16 of July in the Stade de France Poland was going to play against Germany in the group stage.

It had only been less than a month since they'd parted away, but Robert was happy to meet up again with some of his teammates, especially one of them with whom he particularly spent some time in the tunnel.

He had predicted a drawn in the Mia san Dran emission and it was a good result. However, more than the result - which was perfectly acceptable when you played against the world's champions - something disturbed him during this special match. Indeed, after a duel that confronted him with Thomas, the young man suddenly got angry at him, and of course Robert with his hot temper answered to that instantly. Fortunately, it ended up well but in the evening, when he was sitting quietly in his bedroom he thought about what had happened; and he came to the conclusion that something was wrong with Thomas. Even if Müller had a strong personality he usually would never have reacted like that because of such an unimportant thing. This aggressiveness, this nervousness worried him deeply, it was a clear sign that Thomas wasn't fine.

Poland lost against Portugal in the quarter final after a penalty shoot-out. Contrarily to what most people believed, Lewy never considered this to be a lottery. penalty-kicks were a technical and mental exercise and more than suitable to decide the winner between two teams. If they lost it was because they weren't the best and because he did a poor performance during this tournament, after all he had scored only one ridiculous goal. Of course, for Poland it was a decent performance to make it to the quarter final, but on a personal point of view these Euros were a disaster. He was exhausted after the big season he'd had with Bayern, and he had the feeling that he was letting his country down.

Once he was in his villa in Poland for the holidays, he watched the rest of the European tournament and what he saw didn't calm his worries about Thomas. His friend was nervous, he hadn't scored any goals, and he even missed his penalty-kick against Italy. Moreover, he knew that Germany's defeat against France in the semi-final was going to be hard to accept for him. Germany had dominated the whole game, and the victory of France was only a hold up. The French players had taken advantage of two mistakes the Germans had made, but they hadn't created anything during the whole match. If the Mannschaft had exploited even a tenth of their chances they would have easily won this game, and Lewy was perfectly aware that these kinds of matches were the most frustrating and the hardest kind of situations for any attacker.

He hesitated for a long time, contemplating whether or not it was a good idea to call his teammate and ask him if he was fine, but finally he refrained from doing so, his courage leaving him once more.

So, this season, this apogee, this pinnacle placed under the sign of success, joy and frivolity was yet ending in worry and sadness.


	4. The song of the sirens

Robert worries were progressively erased by the water of the lakes and the pleasures of the jet-ski. After the resumption of training he was perfectly reassured, in fact he had attentively observed his friend during the first training sessions, and he’d appeared perfectly normal. Thomas was displaying his large smile everywhere he went, and he was spending most of his time doing jokes with everyone. Robert was considering that perhaps he had misunderstood his teammate’s behavior, and that the young man had never been unwell. It could also have been a simple moment of exhaustion which the holidays had cured.

Their relationship restarted on the same basis as last year. During the Media Day, they stood side by side for the official team picture and during the half an hour of shooting they were only joking and sharing knowing looks.

It was strange how much he was unable to look at something else, to think at something else, to concentrate on something else when Thomas was around him. He felt like the moon cirlcing around earth. But how was he supposed to be able to look away anyway - when he had such a sight in front of him? After weeks of separation could anybody blame him that he wished to let his gaze roam over the handsome view that was right before his eyes? Could he really be condemned if he was incapable of looking away from these unique eyes, this thick shock of hair, this brilliant smile, this long and slim body, these thin muscles, this white skin… And then there was all these little defects that he had missed so much, even more than the rest as he considered them as a special gift reserved for him because he was the only one who cherished what the others despised.

Many things had changed at Bayern during summer. Mario had returned to Borussia, and Robert was sad about his departure because after all Mario was one of his oldest friends. But he knew that it was the best thing to do for the young German. As a replacement for Mehdi Benatia who had left them, another one of his old friends had joined the team in the person of Mats Hummels. Another newcomer was the gem of the last Euros: Renato Sanchez. However, the biggest change was the arrival of Carlo Ancelotti as the head coach, backed by his experience and his Champions League victories. As usual the new manager came with his staff (coach assistants, physical trainer, video analyst…).

The first games of the season were all successes. They won the Germany Supercup and the first DFB Pokal and championship matches easily. There wasn’t any reason to worry for Thomas in a sport’s point of view, he had scored against Dortmund, and he had made four assists during the other two games. As for him Lewy had already scored five goals; which was one of the best season’s starts he’d ever had.

What a pleasure to play with Thomas again! They didn’t even have to look out for one another to find each other. More and more he had the impression that they could play together with closed eyes. Müller was always trying to make him score, with an unselfishness that Robert could only admire, so Lewy was trying during the celebration to always highlight his friend’s work.

For example, during their first Bundesliga match, he hadn’t failed to point at the man who’d provided him the assist in order to thank him, and his reward for this gesture was to see Thomas face light up with a delighted smile, his friend cheeks covered with a slight blush and his eyes sparkling with joy. This moment between them exuded joy, respect and good understanding.

Everything kept on going well, even after the return of the Champions League, Bayern won 5-0 in this first game against Rostov, and he and Thomas both scored a goal. Yet some details had disturbed him during this match, but he hadn’t given them too much importance. For an instance, Müller wasn’t playing behind him like before, but as a right winger in such a way that the team was playing in a 4-3-3. Carlo had also notified to him, before the game against the Russians, that tonight he was going to be the one in charge of the penalties.

The signs that things were changing multiplied themselves, but still he didn’t understand. For example, that day when he had caught Thomas by the waist while they were celebrating a goal and the young man had pulled out and run away, he should have known that this wasn’t announcing anything good.

Progressively, surreptitiously things had deteriorated more and more, until their game against Hamburg, when he had suddenly realized that he wasn’t able to find Thomas anymore, that the young German wasn’t where he was supposed to be. Obviously, his friend wasn’t playing like usual anymore. Of course, Lewy had noticed that recently Thomas had scored a lot less than he would normally do, but that could easily be explained by his new position as a right winger. Whereas here, the problem was that his teammate was losing his preferred way to play football, and that was a whole lot more disturbing.

After these bad performances Thomas was condemned to stay on the bench especially as Robben came back from his injuries and was now able to occupy his position on the pitch. He only played the quarter of an hour against Monchengladbach, not at all against Augsburg, 20 minutes against Hoffenheim… Every time that Thomas was subbed in Robert was trying to make him score but all his efforts were vain.

The results of the whole team were bad, they had done a series of draws in championship, they were second of their Champion League group after a defeat against Atlético Madrid, and following a disastrous Klassiker Dortmund had taken the head of the Bundesliga over them.

The day after this match, at the end of the recovering session someone told him that Carlo was waiting for him in his office. Intrigued, he did as he was told after having changed. While he was ascending the stairs that led to the second floor he was asking himself what kind of mistake he could have done to receive this summons. However, as much as he broke his head about it, he couldn’t find anything of what would deserve a punishment. He probably had a worried look when he entered the room, because Ancelotti, when he saw him, smiled and immediately reassured him by telling that he wasn’t here to receive a sanction.

Lewy was invited to take a seat and then listened to what his coach told him in substance.

“As I said, Robert, I didn’t ask you to come here because you have committed a misdemeanor, but because I think that this is the time for us to have an important discussion. And, when I say important, I mean capital. You’re an intelligent young man and I’m going to speak to you as one, I’m sure that you’re able to understand what I have to tell you.

Sit comfortably, because this will be a little bit long. We both agree, you and I, that football as a collective sport is based before all on the game product by the whole team, I’m not mistaken, am I?”

Robert approved and Carlo proceeded: “Good, I wasn’t expecting anything else. However, you’re perhaps going to disagree with this. For me a strong collective performance isn’t enough to win and by that, I mean to win the most important titles: World Cup, Champions League… for this you need a star, an extraordinary player who, when the team is going to be dominated in the game, will achieve to win the match only by himself, and in such circumstances the whole team must be at his service. This is what Bayern has been missing over the last years.

Well, only two players in this team have the potential to become such stars: Manuel Neuer… and you. Considering his position, the only option, in an offensive point view, is you. Robert it’s time for you to enter another dimension, to change your status but for that you will have stop doing a certain number of things. You want to help the team but you’re not doing it in the right way, it’s not by your participation in the construction of the game that you’re going to help them, but only by scoring goals.

It’s time for you to choose whether you want to be a great striker, our simple attacker. You should stop to disperse yourself during the games, you should only be thinking about yourself and your goals. You believe that I haven’t noticed during the last matches, that as long as Thomas is on the pitch you’re only thinking about him? Yes, at the moment Thomas isn’t doing well but this is not your problem, this is his and mine.

You want to help him, very well, then show him that his poor form doesn’t impact your results, show him that if he doesn’t score anymore, it’s not a problem because you’re here to do the job. Do you know the reason why you have only scored one goal with Poland during the Euros? It’s because you were too used to share your responsibilities with the others, you weren’t able anymore to lead a team to the victory by yourself.

Ronaldo achieved to do it. I hope that you understand that if speaking to you like that it’s both for your own and for Bayern’s good. As a symbol of your new responsibilities you’re going to be the only one in charge of the penalties from now on, anyhow Thomas isn’t able to assume this role anymore, and you know it as well as do. Take your time to think about what I’ve said and you’re going to see that it doesn’t lack of a certain sense. And I know very well that something inside you is sensible to the discourse that I just had… Oh and Robert you should begin to work on the free-kicks.”

Robert remained silent for a few instants, surprised, troubled and perplexed after this long speech, then he thanked is coach and left the room.

He needed several days to think about his trainer’s words. He was facing a true dilemma, caught between a concept of football that he had discovered when he arrived in Germany and that he had quickly adopted, and his desire to win, to shine, to not disappoint Ancelotti… Klopp and Pep had both taught him (even if it was in a very different way) to fight a maximum against his selfish striker’s instincts in order to make him mingle with the rest of team, and he had always loved it because it was giving him the impression to be a real member of the whole team. He liked to take part in the game, he wanted to be a modern striker. In this way he had been able to develop qualities that otherwise he would never have had, especially his understanding of the game. His dream was to be a player as complete as possible. However, none of these two coaches had achieved to make him win the Champions League. Perhaps that it was the time to try something else?

He was trying not to listen at his most basic instincts, but Carlo was right - there was something in him that was speaking in favor of this new status. He loved the light, he loved the attention, he loved the idea to be a hero. The possibility to become Bayern’s star wasn’t deprived of any charms. But the decisive argument had been the perspective of the good consequences that this new role could have for the whole team. It was a way to council everything. He was going to keep on helping the team but he was going to do it in a different way.

After he had made his decision, he went to signify it at his coach. Since then he tried to stay most of the time in the penalty box, to limit his defensive activity… in order to be more efficient. Also, he followed Ancelotti’s advice and worked on the free-kicks.

Thomas problems didn’t go unnoticed to the press’ eyes and soon they began to ask Robert about it. The first time he answered: “It’s only a rough patch, it happens to everyone. The most important in this kind of situation it’s that you don’t lose you’re smile, and Thomas will never lose his.”

However, after a few weeks he had to correct this declaration. Indeed, he had observed his friend closely, and he had discovered that his smile wasn’t as honest as it had been before and also that, when Thomas was convinced that no one was looking at him, a melancholic expression was appearing on his face. Robert had felt his heart tighten when he had seen that, and suddenly he was overwhelmed with the yearning to take his teammate in his arms to comfort him. Nevertheless, he refrained from doing so, because it wasn’t something that you could do in the middle of a training session and also because Thomas would most likely not have accepted it anyway.

Lewy had clearly noticed that for some time Thomas had distanced himself from him, recently they had barely even talked together. Robert didn’t know how to put a stop to it, and each time that he was experiencing this his heart was filled with sadness a little bit more.

Besides, Thomas was getting along better and better with Mats, and Lewy was beginning to look unfavorably on it.

The second time he was asked about the fact that Thomas wasn’t scoring anymore, his new answer was: “You can’t lose your instinct. It’s impossible. He is through a bad time where he doesn’t have luck. But it will soon be over. Everyone expects him to score at least twenty goals. But we may already content ourselves with him. He must not be reduced to the fact of scoring goals.”

Robert was absolutely convinced that it was only a bad time Thomas was having, but he was starting to think that it was a rather long bad time. To be honest, he couldn’t wait for things to come back to usual. He had imagined that it was going to be the case after Thomas had scored a goal against Wolfsburg, but his friend showed the same difficulties the next week against Darmstadt and was benched for the last game of this first part of the season against Leipzig.

During the holidays, he thought a lot about what was happening, and he came the conclusion that it was crucial that he had a discussion with Thomas in order to understand. Of course, his repositioning as a winger wasn’t helping, but the real problem wasn’t there to find, and Robert was sure of that. There was something else, something way more serious, behind all of this but he didn’t achieve to discover what.

He had decided to put his plan in action during the training camp in Doha. It was the reason why he was meandering in and around the hotel every night with the hope of encountering Thomas like he had done last year. It was only during the third evening that fortune smiled on him.

He was about to renounce when he caught sight of Thomas lying in the grass in a corner of the garden. Manifestly the young man was looking at the stars which were particularly beautiful in this place. Robert approached him in silence, but he stopped halfway and hidden behind a tree he remained motionless for a few minutes to regard his star, a star that was fading.

It had been a long time since he’d had the occasion to watch Thomas like that, idle and relaxed, and what he saw was filling him with both joy and sadness. The joy to let his eyes wander over this beautiful body, the pleasure to see how handsome Thomas was in the moonlight. The sadness to note how he seemed to have aged, to see the dark rings present under his eyes and how exhausted he generally looked. He was feeling bad to disturb his friend’s reverie but this was probably his only chance to have this conversation, and so he forced himself to move forward.

Thomas must have been deeply absorbed by his thoughts, because he didn’t hear Robert approaching. Lewy was hesitating about the way he should accost his teammate, afraid to give him a fright, and finally he decided that the best way was to pass by the side in order to progressively enter his friend’s field of vision.

Once Thomas’ eyes were on him, Lewy smiled at him and said: “Good evening, can I sit here together with you for a while?”

“Of course.” answered Thomas with a soft voice.

He sat down next to his friend, who had lifted himself upwards when he’d seen Lewy coming, but Robert, who wished to look at the stars too, lay down on the grass, and Thomas followed his example a few seconds later. They stayed like that in silence for a while and then Robert gathered his courage to ask directly: “Thomas, what’s happening?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, not only you’re not scoring goals anymore, but worst you’re not playing football in the same way anymore. Usually I know exactly where you’re going to be, where you’re going to run, but this year I have the impression that I’m playing with someone different. But it’s not only the way you’re playing that has changed, but also, and this is the most important fact, your general behavior. Like if something had extinguished in you. Someone would have to be completely blind not to see that you’re unhappy.” He hesitated for a brief moment, and finally he added:

“And I don’t see you anymore, we don’t talk anymore, I have the impression that we’ve lost our connection on the pitch – and that we have also lost it in real life too and…and… I miss it…”

He blushed while he said these last words, and he had pronounced them so low that his neighbor had probably not heard them.

Thomas only answered him with a laconic: “It’s only a bad spell, nothing important.”

But Robert was determined to have a real answer. He wasn’t a journalist, he knew Thomas well enough not to be satisfied by such words so he insisted:

“Something happened, right?” His friend stayed silent, obviously debating with himself about his answer. Time passed by, and Lewy was beginning to fear that there was no answer ever going to come when he heard Thomas say all of a sudden:

“Yes, something happened at the end of the last season. I have realized something. Robert, my career is entirely based on a lie! Since I was a child everyone made me believe that I was able to succeed in everything that I was going to attempt. And I did have sincerely believed it! I was convinced that whatever I tried, I was going to succeed in it one day or another. But it’s not true, I didn’t achieve to score this penalty against Atlético, I didn’t achieve to be in the starting eleven of a Champions League semi-final game, I didn’t achieve to score a goal with Germany, I didn’t achieve to stop us from being knocked out during the Euros. Everything that I have done, I only did it because I had this self-confidence, but now - now because I have realized that, I’m unable to find my self-confidence back again and without it I’m nothing, I’m not worth anything anymore.”

Robert was deeply touched, never could he have imagined that one day in his life he would hear Thomas speak like this. Without thinking he laid one of his hands on his friend’s hand, squeezing it tenderly. Realizing what he was doing, Lewy withdraw his hand immediately, but Thomas didn’t seem to have been bothered by his inconsiderate behavior.

Then Robert said: “Thomas, I can’t let you say such things. You’re probably one of the footballers in the world with the highest natural talent. But your talent is different from the one the others have, and for me it is more precious because it is much rarer. Your talent doesn’t lie in your feet, but in your head. I have never in my life seen anyone who understands football like you do. I have the impression that you’re being one with the game. As if some kind of football muse, looking for a soul to repose in, had found yours. Most of the players never achieve to have even a third of your vision of the game. Cruyff said that the most difficult in football is the one-touch game, and you manage to naturally, instinctively do what is the most difficult. Thomas do you realize that you have revolutionized football? You have achieved to create a new position, a new way to play, something unique that we have never seen before. Which players nowadays could flatter themselves of having brought something new to football?

If you’re not scoring goals anymore because you have lost your self-confidence, well it doesn’t matter! You’re not like me, you don’t have to score goals to be important in the game. If I wasn’t scoring anymore, I’d be useless but it’s not the same with you. You have so much more capacities than I do. You know, from a certain point of view, what’s happening is perhaps a good thing. It’s the proof that you’re growing up, that you’re not the little boy anymore who dared to do everything because he’s unconscious of the danger.

You know, as strange as it could appear, I have always thought that assists were more important than goals because I know better than anybody else how much dependent I am of them. And if people criticize you, if they’re only interested in the statistics, well it’s too bad for them! If they’re not able to admire what you’re doing on the pitch, it’s only because they don’t understand anything about football. Absolutely nothing!”

Then he turned his head toward his friend and asked in a softer voice: “Promise me that you’re never going to think that you’re not worthy anything again.”

“Robert, I…”

“Promise me.”

Thomas turned his head towards him. “I promise,” he whispered.

“Now promise me that one day, no matter when, we’re going to play together like we did before.”

“I promise.”

They lay there next to each other in silence, looking into each other’s eyes for some longs minutes. Then Thomas spoke up again, but he only said:

“Thank you.” and it was his turn to grab Lewy’s hand and squeeze it in order to show him his gratitude. “I think that you’re the first person who has really understood the problem. My family... it’s not their fault as they don’t have any experience of football. As for Manu, he knows better than anyone the importance of confidence, but our positions are too different. All of them really helped me, but I needed someone else’s advice. I think you’re right, I need to stop thinking about scoring and concentrate myself on the other aspects of the attack.

“To be true, I’m only repeating your own advice, this is what you have said to me when I was having problems with scoring back then in 2014. You told me to don’t focus on the goals, to only think about playing well, and that the rest will follow; to try to see each match as a new opportunity to do well and not as a chance to fail or something like that,” Robert gave back with a smile, and Thomas returned his smile genuinely.

“Robert…I’m sorry that I put you aside during the last months. I don’t know why I have done this. I think that on one hand I’ve just been ashamed, and on the other hand I was jealous to see that you were doing so well. You always reminded me of last year, and the difference was too hard to take.”

They kept on talking for more than at least an hour while looking at the sky. It was a long time since Lewy had had such an agreeable evening.

When they were about to part away in the hotel corridor in order to return to their respective bedrooms, Thomas called out to him.

“Robert…I’ve missed you too,” and with these words the young man disappeared in his bedroom, leaving Lewy completely stunned. But once he’d realized the meaning of this sentence a warm smile appeared on his face, and it didn’t vanish until he was asleep.

From that day on, Robert watched with pleasure that things slowly began to get better for his friend. Progressively Thomas was coming back to him, and on a sportive point of view the young German’s playing time became longer as well as the way he was playing was constantly improving. Robert considered then that it was time for Thomas to play in his real position again, and so he talked about it with Phillip and asked him to say something about it to their coach. Apparently, it was efficient because during some matches Bayern played in their traditional 4-2-3-1.

Nothing is better for confidence than a 16 round against Arsenal. They won the first leg without difficulties, with a brilliant 5-1, and Thomas finally scored a goal. Unfortunately, as Thomas was his substitute, Robert wasn’t on the pitch at that time. But at the moment of the substitution he’d taken his friend’s hand and stroked his hair in a display of encouragement. Sometimes it was still difficult for him to find the right words so he relied on using such gestures to express himself instead. When Thomas had scored, Lewy had jumped up from the bench, and he’d celebrated as if it had been him who’d scored this goal or perhaps even more. His behavior earned him some strange looks from the rest of his teammates and from a large part of the staff. He had the feeling that he was a child caught while he was stealing sweets, and so he sat down again in silence, slightly blushing.

The first match over full ninety minutes that Thomas was allowed to play in ages took place against Hamburg. He provided three assists but mainly he evolved with perfect ease on the pitch, each of his moves were dangerous. Robert, who had scored a hat-trick, was surprised when he noticed that he was according a lot more of importance to his friend’s performance than to his own. It was months since the last time that he’d seen Thomas smile so sincerely, and that was better than all the hat-tricks in the world. After the game his teammate started to dance on the pitch while they were celebrating with the fans, and never in his life Robert would have thought that he was going to be so happy to see those horrible dance steps again.

When he passed the mixed-zone he felt obliged to declare this: “Thomas showed how important he is today. He was outstanding, and he was a great example to everyone. It doesn’t matter that he didn’t score. His play is not from this world. I’m also happy when he scores goals, but when he’s giving so many assists, I cannot say anything against it.”

Thomas’ recent struggles had deprived him of another thing: the crazy celebrations when, forgetting the rest of the world, they gave in to each other. And even though he hadn’t wanted to admit it, but he felt an undeniable pleasure in the magical moment when they had only eyes for each other during their celebration when he’d just scored a goal against Frankfurt because of Thomas’ assist, and this although they were surrounded by their teammates. The situation was too beautiful for him to resist, and he stroked the young Bavarian’s hair tenderly and without caring about being watched.

That day he almost had the impression that everything had returned to what they had usually shared before. Even more because he and Thomas stayed together after the game most of the time, sharing jokes about the things they could see in the assistance, and as the stadium was quite noisy, they had to be very close to each other in order to be able to hear what the other one was saying.

As they had easily won their second game against Arsenal a few weeks before, (yet another 5-1), Bayern had qualified for the quarter finals of the Champions League. Now their job was going to be more complicated as they were playing against Real Madrid.

About ten days before the first leg, things began to worsen. However, this game against Augsburg was one of the team’s best performances in this season so far. It had been ages since Robert had felt so much pleasure during a match. Unconsciously during the course of the game, he had returned to his former way of playing, as he had moved all around the pitch and had profited of Thomas and Thiago’s presence to combine with them. And the result was there, he scored a hat-trick and delivered two assists (with one for Müller). As for Thiago, he scored a goal and provided two assists, and Thomas on his side scored a double and provided one assist.

Yet, Robert was suddenly stopped dead in his tracks when he saw that Thomas was lying on the floor and holding his ankle with both hands after his second goal instead of celebrating. Without thinking twice, Lewy immediately ran to join him. He laid a comforting hand on his friend’s back and asked him how he was feeling, but the only answer he received was a painful whine. Robert knew Thomas well enough to be sure that even if his friend was in pain, if Lewy let him do that, then he was usually going to resume playing as if nothing had happened. So, he had decided not to let him go until he had accepted to speak with the doctor. Thomas finally complied, but to Robert’s displeasure his teammate quickly came back on the field after a simple treatment with cooling spray.

During the last ten minutes of the game Lewy kept an eye on Thomas, and what he observed only increased his worries, whenever Müller was using his right ankle without any restrain he grimaced in pain. After the end of the game the first thing Robert did was to talk with the doctor and insist for him to make undergo some more serious tests with this stubborn idiot.

A remark from the doctor made him aware of how stressed he was, and from then on he tried to reason himself and calm down, after all Thomas had only received a blow, it probably wasn’t anything serious and there was no reason to be so anxious. But it was all in vain, he couldn’t stop himself from being seriously worried about Thomas.

When the Augsburg player who’d been the one hurting Thomas came over to shake Robert’s hand, he ignored him stubbornly, while insulting him copiously in his head. He would have liked to say what he was thinking aloud, but he hadn’t missed the fact that Lahm was following him closely and was sending him expressive looks that forced him to restrain.

That night, despite the fatigue of the game, he couldn’t fall sleep. He couldn’t keep himself from thinking of Thomas and being worried about him, so much so that he ended up being angry with himself for his own stupidity. When he finally got to sleep, he dreamed of hospitals, surgery… and each of his dreams ended with a scene where Thomas came to announce him that he wasn’t going to be able to play football anymore. When he woke up in the morning he was drenched with sweat.

Arriving at the Säbener Strasse, he learned that Thomas was at the hospital for a more thorough examination. The consequence of this was that he didn’t pay any attention to the training session, and if Juan hadn’t been here to guide him he would have been completely lost.

He stayed in the training center as long as possible, hoping that this way he was getting the chance to receive some information about his friend’s health. All of his teammates had left the place more than an hour ago, and he was about to run out of good excuses for staying when he caught sight of Thomas and of the team’s doctor at the end of the corridor.

Robert immediately stood up from his seat and went to meet them, but he stopped abruptly when he realized how pathetic he must be looking. However, it was too late because Thomas had already noticed him. The young German approached him with a surprised look on his face.

“Robert? What are you doing here at this time?”

“I… er…er…I…well…I was doing some work out at the gym.”

Thomas looked at him with a small knowing smile, obviously not buying at all what Robert had said.

“Really? You weren’t perhaps waiting for me, were you?”

“But no, no, no not at all…no…I…” Realizing that he was merely worsening things and feeling that he was blushing more and more, he decided that it was more reasonable to change the subject of their conversation “So what did the doctors say?”

“Oh, it’s nothing serious. It’s an injury of the malleolus but, thank God, it’s not broken. I simply won’t be able to train and to play for the next week.”

“So, what about the game against Real?” Robert asked worriedly, but Thomas shrugged his shoulders.

“I think it’s going to be good.”

Robert, despite himself, let out a relived sigh that made Thomas smile. “Well…then…er…I’m going to go. Take care of yourself!” Lewy found himself babbling before turning around to run away. But Thomas caught his arm to stop him.

“Lewy! Wait! As you’re here, would you mind to give me a ride back home? My brother was supposed to do it as I’m not allowed to drive, but he had a hold-up and couldn’t come.”

“Of course! No problem. I just need to get my bag back, it’s still in the locker-room.”

“That’s fine, I’ll be waiting here for you.” Thomas agreed, and Robert hurried to get his things. When he came back from the locker-room he heard Thomas talking to someone and, instinctively hiding himself behind the corner of the corridor, he witnessed his conversation with his brother.

“Hello? Simon, I call you to tell you that you don’t have to pick me up, I’m going to work with the physio, and then I will probably receive some massages. Anyway it will last for a while…No, no don’t bother yourself I have found a way to go home…No I tell you, you don’t need to…Ok, I see you later…Bye.” It was Lewy’s turn to have a small knowing smile on his face, but when he stepped out from his hiding place, he didn’t make any comment. His friend’s little lie made him too happy and was too flattering for him to use it as teasing material.

He was driving for a few minutes silently when Thomas asked him:

“I didn’t have time to eat at the hospital, and I’m already starving. We could perhaps grab a snack somewhere?”

Of course, Robert immediately agreed to this proposal.

“Perfect! I think that I know the perfect place!” Thomas beamed at him, and he started to guide Lewy through the labyrinth of Munich’s streets. They went through places Robert had never been before. Then suddenly his co-driver told him to park, and Robert did as he was told even though he couldn’t make out any restaurant or shop in the street, only houses. Thomas smiled when he saw his confusion, and he got out of the car. Curious, Robert followed him.

They quickly left the street in which he had parked his car, and they stepped into a small but charming old alley. After a few meters they arrived in a small square with a fountain in the middle. Then Lewy finally found a shop window entirely decorated with wycinanki, a wooden door painted with folk decorations and above it this inscription: Pani Agnieszka. He couldn’t believe his own eyes “But, this is…”

“Yes, it’s the best polish tea room in the town. Ok, probably also the only one, but we don’t need to care about that. I hope that you haven’t already come here. I wanted to surprise you, Robert.”

“No never.” Robert was still totally stunned.

“Very well then! Come, I’m sure that you’re going to love it.”

They entered the small shop, and his nose was immediately filled with the smell of sweet cinnamon. Then a small lady appeared from the backroom, and she immediately took Thomas into her arms.

“Tomek! My child, I’m so happy to see you! Oh! You look way better than the last time. However, you’re still so skinny, I’m sure you’re not eating well. Oh my God! What have you done to your foot? Nothing serious I hope? Oh, I’m so happy to see you! But tell me, Tomek, who is this handsome young man?”

“Robert, may I present Agnieszka to you? She bakes the best makowiec in the world. Agnieszka, this is Robert Lewandowski, the best striker of Poland’s history.”

“Your boyfriend is a fellow countryman! How wonderful!” the small lady exclaimed, and Robert could see Thomas blushing deep red. 

“No, no, no! It’s not like that! He is just a friend, we play together at Bayern.” Thomas objected, and Agnieszka sighed regretfully.

“Ah? What a pity, he looks so good. And remember Tomek, you promised me that you were soon going to introduce me a fiancée, um? You need someone to take care of you.”

Robert joined Thomas in his blushing, both of them at a loss for words. This charming lady turned herself towards Lewy and asked him a ton of questions in Polish about his birthplace and the different towns in which he’d lived (of course, she had at least a cousin living in all of them), about his family, his life in Germany… After that she invited them to take a seat and suddenly exclaimed:

“Lord! But I’m thinking, Raf doesn’t know that you’re here. I’m going to tell him, and then I’ll bring you a few things to eat.” She left them, and Thomas explained him that she was talking of her husband. Robert would have liked to ask his friend how he had discovered this place and how he had become so close with the owners of a Polish tea room but didn’t have time to do so as the so called Rafal was coming.

He welcomed Thomas with the same affection as his wife (and a few less words). Both of them then headed back to the kitchen, but Robert heard Agnieszka “whispering” to her husband in Polish: “He said that it’s not his boyfriend, and this child wouldn’t lie to me, but I’m sure that there is something between them, what do you think?” Lewy blushed once again, and he thought that it was really strange that all these people were convinced that they were more than just friends.

A few minutes later, their table was covered with a huge tea pot, two cups and an immensity of pastries. It was absolutely delicious. All of his favorite cakes were standing in front of him, and they were perfectly well prepared. While they were eating Thomas spontaneously told him his story with this place. “I’d discovered this place during my first year at the Bayern Academy. One day I when was feeling bad because I missed my family, I decided to go for a walk in the city in order to find some distraction. I was wandering around the streets with no precise destination, and I found this place by accident. The appearance of this tea-room pleased me right away, and I just walked in. Agnieszka treated me like a member of her family right from the start, and she was so kind that it made me cry. She spent an hour with me to comfort me, and then she made me promise to come back the next week. And since that day I came to visit her every week during all my years at the academy. They’re like my grandparents.”

They talked and ate for more than two hours that passed as quickly as if nothing more than a few minutes had actually gone by. When they were about to leave, he was extremely surprised to see Thomas hiding a bank-note under his plate. Seeing his incredulous look Thomas explained him:

“She always refuses that I pay so I have to use tricks.” Before they left, Mrs. Agnieszka gave them the cakes that they hadn’t been able to eat in a packet, (and Robert strongly suspected her to have added so more). She kissed them both tenderly, and whispered something into Thomas’ ear which made him laugh.

On their way back to the car Thomas said laughing:

“I think that if I let her do, in three months I’d be married with you.”

“Is that what she whispered to you?” Robert wanted to know.

“Oh no, she only told me to pay attention at the way you are looking at me. Really, she is adorable but totally crazy… Don’t you think it’s funny?” Thomas shot him a sidelong glance, and Robert had a hard time keeping his expression under control.

“Hmm, yes, yes it’s very funny.” Robert forced himself to laugh but in reality something in him prevented him to find it entertaining.

Their visit at the tea-room had affected him deeply, and he wanted to believe that it was due to a bout of homesickness, but for real he knew something else had moved him during this afternoon.

Thomas absence during this week had been deeply felt by him, everything was way too calm.

The great game was approaching, and the excitement was growing. He was really impatient to play this match. However, during their last training session, after he had jumped for a header, he came down in a bad way, and he ended up on the floor. He felt a violent pain in his right shoulder. The doctor indicated to him that he was obliged to rest for ten days.

That was the worst thing that could happen to him. At the time of the most crucial game of the year he was going to be obliged to only watch his teammates play, unable to be of any use. That was horrible. Carlo had told him that he was going to transform him into Bayern’s Ronaldo, but while the Portuguese was going to score a double he was going to sit in the stands.

Thomas was supposed to take the striker position, and Robert knew very well that the young Bavarian wasn’t really at ease in this position. On top of that he was just coming back from an injury and with his recent difficulties to score, this wasn’t the kind of situation that were going to help him in restoring his self-confidence. Robert was annoyed with himself, it was his fault that Müller found himself in such a situation.

This game was very difficult for Bayern, even though they opened the score line. Manu was obliged to do an incredible number of saves, and without him, they would have been destroyed by their opponents. This night their goalkeeper came a bit closer to the legend of the greatest historical goalkeepers. Only one of Ancelotti’s two stars had shone in that Champions League night. To complicate things a little more Javi received two yellow cards and so they played the end of the game with only ten players. They lost 2-1 and it was a match that Lewy would have like to erase from his memory.

He received the authorization to train again only one day before the second game against Real. Fortunately, he was feeling perfectly well. Apparently, Thomas had missed him a little, at least his friend was pretty happy to see him. The young German made it a point of honor to stay in his company during the entire training session. Thomas was in high spirits that day, he even gratified them of his famous impersonation of Ronaldo’s dribbles and step-overs, and Lewy hadn’t laughed so much in a very a long time. There was nothing better to make you relax before an important game.

However, at the end of the training the good mood slightly disappeared after a small incident. Robert didn’t exactly remember what type of exercise they were doing but Thomas had tackled the ball in front of him. There was absolutely nothing dangerous in it. The young man had only done it as a joke and contrary to what most people assumed, he was always in perfect control of his body and his gestures when he played football. Never would Thomas have taken the risk to hurt him one day before such a crucial game, and Robert hadn’t been afraid even for a second. Yet Carlo who wasn’t yet used to their childlike teasing called out to Thomas and said:

“Hey! Be careful of what you’re doing! You’ll better not hurt him or else I don’t know what we are going to do tomorrow given that it’s no you who’ll score goals against Real.”

This was said with the appearance of a joke, and Thomas tried to take it as one and laughed, but Robert had clearly seen the sadness present in his friend’s eyes during a brief instant. He was convinced that his teammate had been hurt by these words. Lewy couldn’t make a remark, Carlo was their coach but he didn’t force himself to laugh, hoping that it was enough to show that he hadn’t appreciate this sentence. To make sure that Thomas understood that he wasn’t the least angry with him, he gave him a little pat on his hip joined by a little joke. His teammate laughed and in answer patted Lewy’s head. Now it was clear for everyone that everything was good between them.

As expected, Thomas wasn’t in the first team the following day. Ancelotti had preferred a more technical, more aggressive and more defensive midfield, composed of Xabi, Vidal and Thiago.

The first-half was relatively equilibrated with two major chances on both sides but no goals.

A few minutes after the end of the half-time, Casemiro committed a foul on Robben in the penalty box, and so logically Bayern obtained a penalty-kick. Never before in his life had Robert had such a strong feeling that so much depended on him. It was as if he was hearing Bayern saying to him, as the Tartuffe did:

_“In you I seek peace, hope and happiness; on you depends my torment or my bliss. And through you alone I will finally be happy if you will, or sad if you please.”_

For the first time he understood what kind of pressure Thomas might have felt last year and why his failures had had such an impact on him. He made his run and then, according to a technique that the young Bavarian had taught him, he paused and waited for the goalkeeper to choose a side, taking the goalkeeper by surprise this way. Bayern was leading 1-0 at Santiago Bernabeu.

Thomas entered the game at the 75th minutes, but unfortunately he had just set a foot on the pitch when Ronaldo equalized for Real. Yet, a minute later, Müller received a perfect long pass from Mats Hummel, and he immediately deflected the ball with his chest in Lewy’s direction. However, Carvajal and Ramos caught the ball before him, but the second defender carried by his speed did the gesture that Lewy would have done and the ball ended up in the net. Even if it was an own-goal they celebrated it as if they had really scored. As they were leading 2-1 during this away game, they were going to play the extra-time.

Their goal had apparently consumed all of their reserved of luck for tonight. At the 84th minute, the referee was giving a second yellow card at Arturo Vidal for a foul that was far from deserving such a severe punishment. Robert had hardly ever had such a desire to kill the referee like in this moment.

As Arturo had been sent off, Carlo, in order to re-equilibrate his midfield, substituted Kimmich for Robert at the 88th minute.

With the extra-time the ordeal began. Ronaldo scored a second goal at the 104th minute, taking the whole Bayern defense entirely by surprise. To complete the picture, Neuer broke one of his feet which obviously handicapped him highly. A minute later, Marcello running at full speed achieved to pass through the whole Bayern midfield which allowed him to provide a perfect assist for Ronaldo - who was off-side but that didn’t seem to disturb the referee - (no more than it had disturbed him for the previous goal). Ascencio finished the execution at the 112th minute with a fourth goal for Real.

Never before had any game left him with such a bitter taste. During the first days after this match, the feeling of injustice was largely dominating. Then with time, with distance; the lucidity came back, and the analysis was harsher. It wasn’t Real who had made a hold-up but it would have been them who would have done one if they had gone to the semi-final. During these two matches they had only shot onto target five times when Real had done it more than twenty times. They didn’t deserve to go to the next stage. In a certain way the referee’s errors had only re-established the justice. So, the feeling of injustice slowly faded to give room to the deception, the critics and the regrets. This failure was perhaps more important for him than the previous ones because he had convinced himself that he was going to be the one to offer the victory to his team, and he had only scored a penalty and more or less made Ramos score an own-goal. He was annoyed with everyone but especially with himself.

Things were getting worse during the end of the season, he was more and more irritated and his frustration was appearing a little bit more clearly every day. During this season he had barely taken any pleasure on the field, scoring wasn’t enough to make him happy. He had sacrificed the way he usually played in order to win, but this was of no use, and now he wasn’t able to go back, once he had tasted the bitter pleasures of selfishness it was impossible to break away from them. He was feeling more and more empty, more and more useless after every game. To get rid of those feelings he was looking for goals, but it didn’t work. He tried to fix himself some new personal objectives in order to fight against this moroseness that was invading him. He began to be obssessed with the Bundesliga’s best scorer title.

Things became even worse when he realized that Thomas was getting away from him once again, but what he hadn’t understood at that time was that his current behavior was the reason why the young man was running away from him. He reacted to this like a child, distancing himself like Thomas did in order to give him a taste of his own medicine. He was ostensibly spending time with Frank, Douglas and Jerome; hoping to prove to him this way that he didn’t need Thomas’ company and that had other friends.

The crisis broke out the day of the last Bundesliga’s game. On the bus, during their way to the stadium, he heard Mats and Manu talking about the evenings they spent in Thomas’ house to play Schapfkopf. It was absolutely meaningless, but in his current state he immediately saw red, thinking: _‘you’re telling me that they went to Thomas’ house every week when I was never invited!’_ No one had even mentioned this to him – even though he knew how to play cards - he had learned that when he’d arrived in Munich and when he had discovered that Thomas loved this game; but apparently he wasn’t “Bavarian” enough to be interesting, and Neuer was a natural or what? He was well aware that he was stupid but he couldn’t help himself.

To top it all he wasn’t able to score any goal during the game, and so he left the top scorer’s title to Pierre-Aymeric Aubameyang.

After the game he did something that he bitterly regretted later, but he let himself be guided by his frustration and his jealousy. Even though this game was dedicated to the celebration of Philipp Lahm and Xabi Alonso’s extraordinary careers and to their adieu, instead of respecting that, he went to talk to the journalists, to declare that he was disappointed by his teammates who didn’t help him to get the Torjägekanone. It wasn’t even true, Thomas for example had tried very hard to create such an opportunity, but Robert was particularly angry with the young German, and he was looking for revenge. He was angry with Thomas, he was angry with everyone Thomas preferred to him, and he was angry with himself because he had failed once again.

This night during the Bayern’s gala dinner, after a few glasses of Vodka, he called his agent and he asked him to find him a new club.

The following day, a few hours after the celebration at the Marienplatz, he was packing his bags for the holidays when he heard the doorbell ring. He opened the door and to his surprise Thomas was standing in front of him. His friend’s serious expression wasn’t announcing anything good but he let him in nonetheless. He had barely closed the door when Thomas was already speaking:

“Robert what the hell happened to you yesterday? Do you even realize what you have done? How dare you only thinking about your little personal problems at such a time? Do understand that yesterday was about celebrating two of the greatest players in the world? Philipp is probably the best right back of Bayern’s history, and one of the best captain this team ever had. Xabi played for the greatest clubs in Europe and always with success, he is the incarnation of elegance and talent, and you should be proud of this opportunity that you had to play with such teammates!” Thomas almost yelled while he pronounced these last words, the young man pulled himself together with a deep breath and he went to the living room without saying anything more.

Thomas sat on the sofa and with a gesture he invited Lewy to join him. Robert complied and his friend restarted to speak with a very softer tone.

“I have known you for three years by now, and I believe that I understand you well enough to be sure that you wouldn’t have done something like that if you had been yourself. Robert you were the one who came to help me when I wasn’t feeling good that year, I think that it’s my turn now to try to help you. I have noticed that since a few weeks you weren’t well, and I’m convinced that what happened yesterday is a result of this. I’ll even say that I’m sure it, so there’s no need for you to try to hide it.”

There was no need, indeed, and anyway Thomas would be able to make him reveal his most intimate secrets if he would like to do so. So, he told everything to his teammate, apart from his ridiculous jealousy, with the hope that he was going to understand.

Thomas did understand him. “Lewy, I think that you’re growing up too. Even if I don’t really appreciate the advise that the coach gave you, it yet allows you to discover something new. Perhaps it’s time for you make the way you’re playing evolve a little, perhaps it’s time to refine it. I’m certain that if you do it well, with respect for the team’s spirit, you’ll quickly find out that there are some positive points in this change. You’re the best striker I have ever played with, and I’m sure that you’ll made this transition successfully thanks to your intelligence and your sensibility.”

“Thomas, I made you promise me that one day we’ll play together like we used to do, but I think that it’s not going to be you who’ll have problems to fulfill his part of the contact… but me.”

“Don’t say that, I’m sure that one day we will indeed play like before, except that this time we will _really_ play together, as if we were one. Before we were a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but from now on we’ll be a whole but under the condition that we play together, you the striker and me the passer, forming by our association a complete entity.”

Once Thomas left, Robert visited Xabi and Philipp in order to present them his excuses.

This evening he called back his agent to tell him that finally he was staying at Bayern.


	5. A lot of questions and an answer, part 1

« Dimmi perché quando penso, penso solo a te

Dimmi perché quando vedo, vedo solo te

Dimmi perché quando credo, credo solo in te »

Each start of a new season generated new hopes, each year we were thinking that this was going to be _the_year. However, this period of euphoria didn’t last long this time. Quickly after the resumption of training, the atmosphere in the dressing-room had started to deteriorate. Some players expressed their critics against the staff for the first time. Neither the summer tour in Asia, nor their big victories in the friendly games had dissipated this malaise.

It didn’t mean that they didn’t have some happy moment tough. For example, Robert had good memories of their victory in the Supercup, but his judgment was perhaps a little biased because what he recalled from that night was the image of Thomas’ radiant face when he’d laughed at one of Lewy’s jokes while they were lying side by side on the ground during the celebration of the victory. Typically, the kind of event that was able to make him forget everything else. In the same way what he remembered from their first game of the DFB Cup was the warm of Thomas’ hand on his thigh, from their first Bundesliga’s match it was the perfection of their intertwined hands…

It was probably in order to fight against this general gloominess that Thomas had decided, contrary to his usual habits, to organize a party for his birthday. Of course, the whole team was invited.

Robert laughed briefly as he recalled the time he had spent during this afternoon to choose between his light blue shirt or his white one, between jeans or more dress up trousers, between a pair of sneakers or leather shoes… He had even ended up calling his mom to get her advises (of course she'd come to the assumption that he was having a date because of his behavior). At that time, he was still naïve enough to believe that the color of a shirt or of trousers was going to change anything in the way that Thomas was looking at him.

The party was a success, as expected. The weather was still hot at this time so early in September, and at some point during that evening Robert felt the need to get some fresh air in the garden. He rested his elbows on the balustrade of the patio and looked at his phone. Then it crossed his mind that he should look at the result of the Paulaner shooting that had taken place this morning. Most of the pictures were really good, but he noticed that his eyes were quite always on Thomas. This consideration reminded him of a remark that two people had made to him, and as a consequence of a question that he had asked himself a few times during summer.

He was interrupted in his thoughts by someone who asked him if he was well. It was Manuel. He answered affirmatively to his teammate's question, and they remained silent for a few seconds.

During this time, he was thinking: “Since Manu is here, I could perhaps ask for his opinion.” However, he was hesitating, he had a strange feeling that what he was about to do was the equivalent of a path which was going to lead him closer to something dangerous but also appealing. But - probably driven by a little bit of too much alcohol and his own curiosity - he resolved himself to walk this path and - blushing a little - he asked:

“Manu? Do you think that I look at Thomas in a special way? At least in a different way than I look at other people?”

“Do you really need me to answer to this question?” said the goalkeeper, raising his eyebrows.

“No, no, no, no!!!! I…I’m sorry! I should never have asked you this? I…I pray you forget what I said!” Lewy cried out, panicking a little and blushing even more than before.

“No, you didn’t understand, what I was meaning was that the answer is obvious.”

“Ah?”

“Of course, anyone in this team could tell you that the answer is yes. Even Niki and Sippi who have just arrived.”

“Really? But…what is different?”

“I don’t know…It’s both: more intense and yet softer…more…or as if…No really! I’m not the one who is supposed to explain you these kinds of things.”

“I’m sorry but I don’t understand. Why I am doing this?”

“All that I can tell you is that there is a considerable difference between just looking at something and really seeing it, and in your case, you’re only looking at the others while you’re seeing Thomas.”

“Since when have you become such a philosopher?”

“Since I’m married and my wife made me watch _An Ideal Husband_?”

They both laughed and then went back into the house. Now he had the answer to his question, but it was only opening a new field of explorations. To look and to see…Why was he making an unconscious difference between Müller and the others? Was there something so special in their friendship that it made him modify his looks? Of course, there was a very simple answer to this question, but it would only have been valid if he was talking about a woman and not Thomas.

During the following days he looked again at these pictures from the Paulaner shooting and at a lot of others, and he was obliged to conclude that Manu was right, there was definitely something special in the way he was looking at Thomas. But what? What were his eyes saying?

Unfortunately for him, it seemed that this particularity in his behavior wasn’t limited to his looks - (which was already a problem complicated enough). It was a trivial statement coming from Niklas that enlighten him on this point. The center back was his neighbor in the locker-room, and one day when Lewy was a little bit gloomy, he said to him:

“What a shame that Thomas isn’t already here, because when he's there, you’re always smiling and laughing.”

“Everyone is laughing when Thomas is here“ Robert replied.

“Yes, of course but…I don’t know, I have the impression that it’s a bit different with you. As if something were lightening up in you when he's around. I know it's kinda weird - but that's what I've been thinking yesterday when I saw the two of you joking with Rafa after the game.”

“Do you mean that there is something different in the way I smile when I’m with you or when I’m with Thomas?”

“Hum…Yes, I think. I’m not here for that long, but I could clearly tell you that you’re not smiling at me the same way you're smiling at him. Anyway, I’m not jealous, I know that he is much funnier than I am.”

Apparently, the entire world had decided to give him tons of things to think about in the evenings. As if he needed that! Now it was clear that his behavior around Thomas was special, but why? No matter how often he looked at the problem from all different and possible angles, he would always return to the same conclusion - and that conclusion was absolutely not an option.

Thomas’ party hadn’t been sufficient enough to disperse the deleterious atmosphere that reigned in the team. Quite the contrary, every day the separation between the players and the trainer grew larger. Everyone had something to complain about Carlo: some of them were unhappy with their playing time, some others with their positions, some more with the training sessions…To the extent that some major players of the team didn’t hesitate to voice their displeasure in the press. Philipp Lahm's departure was cruelly felt. Two clans were clearly in opposition at Bayern. The rebellion spread through the whole team and quite all the players took part in it. Lewy was not left out, nor was Thomas.

A break-up was now inevitable, and it appeared so to Robert when he saw Ancelotti’s line-up for their game against Paris. The choices of their coach were sending a clear message:

_'You don’t want me anymore, and well I don’t want you anymore either, so this game is going to be a disaster and thanks to that we'll eventually get rid of each other.'_

All of them knew, while they were waiting in the tunnel, they were going to lose this match. However, they tried to fight but they were fighting like a wounded deer. If the result was perhaps a little bit too harsh, it was inevitable though.

A few days later Carlo Ancelotti was fired. The divorce was pronounced for temperamental incompatibility. Carlo hadn’t understood Bayern, and perhaps Bayern had never understood him either. The union of a great trainer and a great club wasn’t necessarily a happy matrimony. A man who didn't understand Müller couldn’t understand Bavaria. One had to admit on behalf of the Italian tactician though that this club was a special institution in the football world, with a very special history which was very present and an unique regional establishment. Bayern was a galaxy apart in the football universe, and all the experiences one could have from other great clubs didn’t necessarily prepare them to work in such a special context and environment.

As always in this kind of situation the main question was: who was going to accept to replace Ancelotti at short notice and at this time of the season? Fortunately, Bayern had friends and connections, and after a short period of interim deputized by Willy Sagnol, it was the ex-Bayern’s trainer, famous for the 2013 triple, who came back from his retirement to resume working in such exceptional circumstances. He was exactly the one Bayern needed at that time. A coach with authority who could restore order inside the team, with a real footballing philosophy and most importantly with a perfect knowledge of the institution. He didn’t only have experience, but he had Bayern’s experience. His first task was to give back confidence to the team and to help them win again so that they could return to their natural place on top of the league.

All these events and all these changes had at least one advantage: they made Robert forget about all those questions that had been tainting his mind before. So, it was a perfect casualness that he attended the Audi’s promotion in company of Thomas. Without having to worry about the way he was smiling or looking at his friend. Without paying attention to the fact that he was slightly blushing and feeling a bit uncomfortable whenever Thomas was gazing at him. Without being preoccupied by the fact that in his head he was qualifying the image of his teammate playing with a child with the labels “adorable” and “cute”. 

It was, also, thanks to the same state of unconsciousness that he didn’t care about the shivers that ran down through his body when he heard Thomas gasp during their celebration of Lewy’s goal against Freiburg.

However, his teammates apparently took great delights in reminding him what he had so well achieved to forget.

Jerome had decided to organize a small party to celebrate their return at the top of the league. Müller wasn’t there because of an injury of the muscle’s fibers he had sustained a few days before.

At the end of the party, only a small group of Bayern’s players remained. Arturo, who was the specialist of the more or less stupid games in the team, proposed them to play some sort of a dare game. One by one the group had to propose a dare to each of the participants, and those who didn’t achieve to do what they were supposed to do received a forfeit. Of course, the challenge had to stay reasonable and not too risky for the person or for the team. This was how Mats found himself obliged to drink a cocktail where the simple sight of it was absolutely repulsive, how David had to prank-call their ex-captain (which was way more dangerous than it looked like), how Sebastian was forced to take a picture with a spider, an animal that he hated with passion…

When Robert’s turn arrived, he was pretty confident because he would have been able to perform all the defies proposed so far without any problems. His self-confidence must have been visible - because the others looked at him for a long minute without making any suggestion, clearly embarrassed to find something he was afraid of.

Arturo began to think aloud:

“_Veamos_, something that Lewy couldn’t do?”

“Not scoring goals!” said Javi joking

“I know something that Robert couldn’t do,” said Joshua after a moment of silence, “he'd never be able to say to Thomas that he loves him or that he hates him.”

They remained silent for a few more seconds in order to fully appreciate the proposition. Thiago was the first one to react, the young Spanish stood up and took Jo in his harms while saying:

“I have always been thinking that you have some genius, _peque__ñ__o_, but there you have exceeded all of my expectations.”

Everyone started to laugh, and Arturo, who officiated as the playmaker, spoke up again: “Well, I suppose that everyone agrees with Jo’s suggestion?”

All of them agreed with a nod. “Then Robert you have 10 days to make Thomas believe for an entire day that you’re in love with him or that you hate him to death. Of course, the next day you’ll be allowed to tell him that it was only a bet. And if you don’t achieve to do it, then I suggest that you’ll receive the same forfeit as Mats, considering your affection for your hair I think that it’s going to do the trick. Do you agree with that?”

Robert said “yes” without any hesitation, he was convinced that he'd received the easiest task of them all. He didn’t really understand the enthusiasm of his teammates for this idea, but well that was only to his advantage, considering that he had absolutely no intention to turn blond. It was impossible that Thomas with his intelligence and his sense of humor could be angry at him when he discovered that Robert had used him to win a bet, he was sure that he had nothing to worry on this side. This was going to be so easy.

So, it was with this sense of self-confidence that he went to pay a visit at Thomas two days later. They hadn’t seen each other for nothing more than just a short week, but Robert was very excited to see his friend again nevertheless. The young Bavarian manifestly shared his enthusiasm as he welcomed Robert warmly and with obvious joy. Thomas would probably have reacted the same way if someone else had come to visit him - considering that he must have been cruelly bored at this point - but Lewy authorized himself to have the vanity of believing that this welcome had something to do with him.

His friend wasn’t allowed to use his legs, but his injury had apparently not affected his wit or his tongue. They talked and joked together a lot. Thomas retold him precisely all of his adventures in the hospital, a subject that would usually be exceedingly mundane and boring, but which turned out to become hilarious when it was Thomas talking about it. Robert was so taken by their conversation that he lost track of time and before he was able to say half of the things he had to say to his friend, Thomas’ mother was back from the errand she had been running for her son and he was forced to leave. To be honest, the bet had entirely slipped from his mind.

So, he decided to come back the next day, this time with the firm intention not to let himself be distracted from his task. When he had the impression that it was the right moment, he took a more serious expression, and he turned himself towards his friend:

“Thomas, I need to tell you something…”

His teammate encouraged him to carry on with an encouraging, “yes?”, but when Lewy saw his companion's brilliant eyes, his smile…he was unable to say a single word. His heart was racing, heat was coloring his cheeks and his throat went completely dry. Suddenly, he was afraid of these words that he was supposed to say; realizing how heavy, how important, how forceful they were. But above all they seemed so real, so true; as if suddenly this wasn’t about playing comedy anymore. He was totally paralyzed, lost in a whirlwind of emotions.

So, he tried the second formula thinking that perhaps it was going to be easier, but apart from babbling a few incomprehensible syllables, nothing came out of his mouth. This time he realized that the words were so incredibly wrong that it was impossible for him to utter such a lie. Apart from that, there was so much trust, so much joy, in his friend’s eyes that he didn’t have the heart to pronounce such harsh words to him.

Thomas must have noticed his inner struggles because his teammate asked him with a worried voice whether or not he was feeling well. Robert simulated a sudden headache and quickly left.

He tried again the next day, with not more success. When he was about to talk he suddenly imagined what would happened if Thomas was mad at him after his confession and this perspective was so insufferable that he yet remained quiet again.

Robert was a stubborn creature and he did many, many other attempts but none of them succeed. Then he abandoned the idea of talking directly to his friend and resolved himself to try and send a message. Yet again, when he found himself in front of his phone screen, he had the impression that he was about to commit a sacrilege.

This was how a few days later he went to his hairdresser in order to have his hair dyed in blond. He tried to limit the damage but the result was still quite bad.

He was so angry that he'd failed to do something so simple. That was unbelievable! He'd tried it so many times, but to no avail. Joshua knew him better than he knew himself, the young man was right that he was unable to say to Thomas that he loved or that he hated him.

Robert was a little bit mad at his young teammate who'd figured him out so well. But the worst for him in this disaster was clearly his inability to understand the reasons why he hadn't been able to do that. During days he was asking himself all over again: why, why, but why?

It was now three weeks that Thomas was out, and Robert was starting to feel that like time was passing very slowly. One game came after another, one victory after another, but he was bored when he was playing – just as if football had lost a part of its charm. The locker-room was so quiet, the training sessions so repetitive, the travels so long… He didn’t count the numbers of times when he had turned around to do a witty observation about something before realizing that Thomas wasn’t there to listen to him, or the numbers of times when he was about to make a joke and then remembered that only one person in this world was able to understand it.

So, in compensation he spent his time with telling stories about himself and Thomas to poor James - who was the only one kind enough to listen to his rambling. At the end of each of his monologues the young Colombian told him: “Si, si te entiendo. Es lo mismo con mi chica, la extraño mucho. » (Yes, yes I understand. It’s the same with my daughter, I miss her a lot.) He knew fairly well that he was pathetic but he couldn’t help himself.

Every morning, as soon as Manu arrived, Robert rushed towards him to ask if he had some news. After some time, the goalkeeper didn’t even wait for him to ask, and whenever he entered the locker-room, Manu would tell him instantly: “No, I don’t know anything.”

He was blind about his true feelings, but still he was obliged to admit that he was missing Thomas terribly, way more than he was supposed to do. He had some very close friends, but he could be separated from them for a few weeks without having the impression that he was getting mad. One more time there was something special linked with Thomas.

Robert almost jumped with joy, firstly when he heard that Thomas was going to join the collective training in three days again, and then when he saw Müller changing in the locker-room the very same morning. He did a major effort to control himself and not run to take his friend in his arms. He didn’t leave Thomas' side even for a second during the entire training session.

He was so happy about Thomas’ comeback that the day before their match against Hanover he wasn’t able to find sleep as much as he was excited to know that his friend was going to play the next day.

This match was a complete success: they won 3-1, Robert scored a goal and he shared a celebration with Thomas. But all of this was hardly important compared to the pleasure of playing with his favorite teammate again. With Thomas, it was so much easier and so much more interesting to play football. Lewy liked to play with his others teammates a lot, he had a good relationship with the others midfielders (especially James who'd played in Thomas position during his injury) and all of them were excellent footballers, but they all had one major defect: they weren’t Thomas Müller.

Even after weeks without playing together, they had instantly reestablished their connection. The young Bavarian had even almost provided him an assist, the ball had only passed at a few centimeters above him. Usually he was exasperated by this kind of missed chances, but there it was different, and it was different because it was Thomas, he was able accept it with dignity and even with humor.

As soon as the game ended he joined Thomas to tease him about this pass, which led to a merry war of wit. They were playing with each other like two children in the middle of the pitch with millions of people looking at them. But that was something else that he was able to do in his friend’s company: to stop caring about people’s opinion - (tough it was something usually very important for him).

If Robert, at that time, was questioning his relationship with his German teammate, he would have found a lot to think about if he'd been able to see the way he was looking at Thomas that day - (he had seen pictures of it since then). His eyes were shinning, he was smiling blissfully, his whole face was reflecting joy and admiration, as if he was looking at one of the most beautiful and most precious things in the world.

Jupp’s work began to pay off, the team was winning again, the confidence was back, and slowly they started to develop a more and more interesting football. They needed a symbol to mark this revival, and what could be better for that other than a victory against the opponent that was the symbol of their fall. Besides, Bayern was a club of honor, and the affront of the defeat against PSG had to be erased.

Beyond that, this match was a clear opposition of mentality, at least this was how Robert felt about it. The Bavarian club was undeniably modern and fixed in his time, but they had also a very strong link to their history and tradition, using the past to construct the future. Whereas the Parisian club, regarding their present form, had constructed themselves by breaking their ties with the past, and their ambition was to be a creation _ex nihilo, _perfect because detached of all former links.

Likewise, in the financial point of view, the opposition wasn’t really lying in the fact that PSG had almost unlimited resources, but in the way the club was using their money. Until now, they had conducted themselves relatively reasonably, but this summer’s mercato was a madness. It was the behavior of a spoiled child which, because it was vexed and frustrated, had dispensed millions to console itself and show its superiority to the rest of the world.

Whereas Bayern were presenting themselves as one of the last “nostalgic” clubs, where players were coming because of the team's reputation and not because of exorbitant sum of money, or because of a desire of individual’s trophies. Of course, this policy could appear to be a little bit petty, but it was also the result of a certain common sense, perhaps a little bit “peasant” of course – but still sensible.

In one word it was the opposition between two very different worlds. Yet, PSG wasn’t a rival like Real could be, where the ideological opposition was completed by historical matches.

They won this game thanks to the intensity that they achieved to create, and which had immediately destabilized their opponent, and because of a relatively simple but also very consistent game. The Parisian club was no equal match for them. With this victory began, in a certain way, a new season.

The last 2017’s game was the 16th round of the DFB Cup, which opposed them to Dortmund and which they won 2-1.

Robert would for ever remember the second goal that they scored. Thomas on his right side had eliminated the Borussia’s left back, and with a perfect pass he'd found Robert, who was standing on the line of the penalty box. Lewy had controlled the ball with his right foot, he 'd turned around, and then he'd passed the ball back to Thomas who'd followed his run.

This one-two was a perfect example of their mutual understanding, it didn’t create anything spectacular, but it allowed them to transcend themselves and to destabilize every possible defences. Thomas had controlled the ball with a little bit of clumsiness but he'd managed to find himself in the right position to shoot and then with sharpness, with precision and a wonderful self-control he'd delicately lobed the goalkeeper.

Robert had stood still to admire such a splendid spectacle. Each of Thomas’ goals was unique, but Robert had a special affection for this one. In this special goal was summed up all the noble simplicity, all the discreet elegance that characterized the way Thomas was playing football. It was as if he had in front of him the pure line of a Romanesque vault or of a Gregorian melody. An aesthetic deprived of all superfluous, powerful but simple, difficult to understand at first sight, but fascinating when you began to grasp it. Never had Robert been so proud to have contributed to a goal.

There was a lot of things in life that you're doing without realizing it, until something or someone makes you realize them or simply until you naturally give them attention because your present state of mind leads you to it. That was what happened to Robert during the winter’s holidays, only that in his case it was a major realisation. The discovery of a habit that he'd had for too long for it to be insignificant, namely the fact that most of the time he was thinking of Thomas.

It wasn’t necessarily deep thoughts but some small remarks that he was doing to himself and that inevitably had a link with the young man. When the sun was shining, he was thinking: “Well, today Thomas will perhaps visit his horses.” When he was walking past a cinema he was telling himself: “Well Thomas will probably come to watch this movie.” When he was seeing a cloth in the front window of a shop he was thinking: “Well this might suit him well,” and so on during the all day. If something was pleasing him, the first thing he desired to do was to share it with the young German; if he was sad, the first person he desired to see was his friend, and so on for many other things. Thomas was permanently present in a corner of his head.

But it wasn’t all. He had noticed that he was also trying to turn this state of thing into something reciprocal. He liked it when Thomas was looking at him, or else why would he have displayed so much of his body during their training camp in Doha. He liked it when Thomas preferred his company over everyone else, or else why would he have interrupted his phone discussion in the same context, (something that was highly impolite and that he normally never did). Finally, he liked to receive proof that Thomas was also thinking of him sometimes, or else why would he have been so happy to see that Thomas had commented on his freestyle performance on Twitter.

The more time passed, the more it was becoming evident that his friend had a special place in his life but which one? That point had still to be determined.

Bayern’s return to the Bundesliga was showy. The winter break had allowed them to take time to realize a substantive work with their new coach, and the results followed immediately. 3-1 against Leverkusen, 4-2 against Bremen (in a wonderful game where Thomas and him had both scored a double), 5-1 against Hoffenheim, 6-0 against Paderborn… A game in which his teammate had once more given him worries after he'd injured himself while he was scoring a goal. There again, there was something abnormal in these protecting feelings he had for the young man.

This series found its height in their game against Schalke. They “only” won 2-1, but the score wasn’t reflecting the importance of this match because it was a long time since Bayern had produced such a good football. Since about twenty days their coach had implement a “new” tactical system. With Arjen Robben's comeback, Müller and James were now both playing behind Lewy. The team was then playing in a kind of 4-1-4-1 that could be made even more offensive if the pure stopper was replaced by a more flexible defensive midfielder. The players were now used to this disposition, (which was only a slightly more offensive reinterpretation of Jupp’s 4-2-3-1), and the ball was circulating well, and the offensives were well constructed with a lot of movements…

This line-up could seem to be totally crazy and unbalanced but it wasn’t the case. Firstly, because like that Bayern had the control of the ball most of the time, secondly because the team was staying very high on the pitch which allowed them to immediately press their opponent whenever they lost the ball, and thirdly because everyone was ready to do the defensive efforts whenever it was necessary. For this tactical system to work out and maintain a perfect team spirit was obligatory. Since Pep's departure it was the first time that Lewy got such enjoyable sensations during a match.

Their good performances in the championship reflected themselves in the Champions League 16th round against Besiktas. They made short work of the Turkish club, especially during the home game (admittedly well helped by the fact that their opponents were reduced to ten players early in the match). Thomas had been brilliant during that game. He scored the first goal of the match with a ball ingeniously slid between the legs of the goalkeeper, he initiated the action who led to the second goal (with a pretty one-two between them), he scored the third goal with a typical shoot from the side and he assisted Robert for the last goal of the game. Lewy remembered that he had felt like laughing after the two goals of his most favorite teammate, not because of any kind of mockery, but because there was something joyous in the fact of seeing Thomas scoring, something that rejoiced him deeply. It was an evening like he loved them: a good game, a double for him and his friend and an almost certain qualification for the next stage.

He was still completely under the influence of the euphoria of the match and of the joy of this victory when he fell asleep that night, so there was nothing surprising in the fact that he dreamed of this game. He relived various moments of the encounter in a quite illogical order. Including the time when he had asked Thomas to pass him the ball after Lewy’s first goal. He could be so stupid sometime, he knew fairly well that his teammate was always trying to help him yet!

He didn’t remember all the details of his dream, but he had an extremely clear memory of how it had ended. He'd relived his second goal. He'd been alone on the left side when he 'd seen Robben sending the ball to Thomas, who'd started running at full speed and leaving all of Besiktas’ defence behind himself. Lewy had begun to run in direction of the goal, even though he was convinced that his friend was going to shoot as Thomas was in the perfect position for it (free of all marker and alone in front of the goalkeeper). But instead Robert had suddenly seen the ball come right to his feet just in time for him to send it into the goal. He'd been so surprised by this pass from his teammate that he didn’t achieve to stop his running in time and he ended up in the goal’s net.

As it had been the case in the reality, he'd felt a strange mixture between joy, admiration and shame. Joy, because Thomas had thought of him, had been eager to please him and had offered him a wonderful gift. Admiration, because only this man was able to do something like this, no one in the football word had the same team spirit, the same lack of selfishness. He knew that on this point, like on many others, his friend was infinitely his superior, he could never have such a nobleness nor such a natural generosity. Shame, because he had deprived Thomas of scoring a hat-trick in a Champions League game right when his teammate needed to score so much, in order for him to find back his lost self-confidence.

In his dream, he'd risen to his feet again and run out of the net. Then he'd looked for Thomas and as he'd turned around, he'd seen his friend running towards him with his arms opened wide. They exchanged a double high-five, accompanied by a knowing look and a smile. After that they hugged each other. Mixing with the sensation of their celebration during Thomas’ first goal, he'd felt his teammate's head that came to rest against his neck, and Thomas' breath was caressing his sensitive skin, while his hair was tingling Robert’s ear. Lewy’s heart had been beating faster, just as if this was so much more than just a dream.

Slowly, they'd parted again, and Robert had wondered why their teammates hadn’t already joined them but apparently, they were alone on the field. This instant of distraction hadn't lasted long though, and all of his attention had been on his friend again when he'd felt the other man’s hands leaving Lewy’s hips and coming to cup his face. They'd stayed like that for a long time.

Robert had looked into Thomas’ eyes, quickly lost in this subtle combination of colours. His friend’s eyes seemed to be even more beautiful, more fascinating, more attractive than usually, and this because they'd appeared to be expressing a feeling which he'd never seen in them until now, or at least not for longer than only for a brief instant on some rare occasions. Whereas in his dream, this light that was dancing inside of these two pupils had been undeniably present, strong and constant. It wasn’t the fire that was burning inside of these eyes when Thomas was playing football, it wasn’t the radiant sun that lit them up when he was laughing, nor the stellar sparkling one could see there when he was struck with an interesting idea… It was a soft lightning, warm, like the flame of a candle. These eyes were full of tenderness. Robert had felt his soul warm up by this light, and then his heart to be set on fire by this flame. 

In his dream Lewy had tenderly stroked his friend hair, and it was softer than the silk. Suddenly, he'd realized that - without him having noticed how that happened - their faces were now only separated by a few centimetres. His eyes were attracted to those lips, so much more delicious than the best pastries, more tempting than ripe fruits, smoother than the most exquisite drink. He'd leaned even closer, tilted his head to the side and their lips met in a first chaste kiss.

In this moment, in his dream, he felt a shiver running through his body from top to bottom. And then he was captured by a feeling of perfection and absolute pleasure, all of his senses heightened to their possible maximum by this outstanding experience. Just as if his eyes were seeing the most magnificent of landscapes, as if he was listening to the most harmonious of music pieces that exited in the world. It was as though he was touching the softest and smoothest of materials, smelling the most delicate perfume in the world, and right as if he was tasting the most delicious recipe any cook had ever created. His heart had stopped for a few seconds before it'd started racing again in a hellish pace when Thomas pulled him even closer to him to deepen their kiss.

And right then the strident sound of his alarm-clock had woken him up.

He turned off the alarm-clock in a reflexive gesture and he'd lain back again, staying still for a few seconds, daydreaming, still under the influence of the magical atmosphere he'd experienced during his dream. Slowly coming back to full awareness he'd realized with sudden clearance and utter dismay what had been the subject of his dream. He got up harshly as if he'd just received an electric shock.

After the first moment of panic and surprise, he calmed himself down a little and began to think about what had happened. It was terrible! If dreams were truly the reflections of your subconsciousness, then the meaning of this one was quite clear. Was it possible that he was attracted to men, and perhaps more particularly to Thomas? Of course, that would explain many things, and apparently many people were thinking that it was the case…But no! No! That was impossible! That couldn’t be true. Not him! There was certainly another way to explain all of this, there had to be another way to explain all it.

First of all, no matter what they said, dreams were only the product of your imagination and didn’t necessarily had a significant meaning. The previous night, his mind had been clouded by the exhilaration of the match and the physical exertions he'd gone through, this could at least be a partial explanation of this event. If you added to this the fact that he had clearly been single for way too long, then his dream was probably simply the manifestation of the fact that his mind and his body were craving for affection. And finally, the various insinuations of his teammates or ex-teammates were certainly responsible for the confusion he made in the object of his desire. There was nothing more to be seen in that. With this good reasoning, he made his way to his bath when he noticed that he was already quite late.

He tried to act as normal as possible during the training session. And aside from the fact that he'd blushed when he'd seen Thomas in the locker-room, he behaved quite well.

His dream had yet refused to leave him alone for several days. Even though he'd found a reasonably plausible explanation, he was still asking himself if there was a possibility for him to be attracted to Thomas on several occasions. If the answer was really always no, he was less and less certain of that as time passed by. Especially after their second game against Besiktas.

After the game he and Thomas were standing side by side. They were joking together and to be able to do so, they had to stand very close to each other because of the noise generated by the stadium. Inevitably due to this proximity, Robert found his eyes attracted by his friend’s lips, and the images of his dream filled his mind again.

He looked away as soon as he realized what he was doing, blushing furiously, and he was suddenly painfully aware of the fact that it wasn’t the first time that he had thought about kissing Thomas without being asleep.


	6. A lot of questions and an answer (part 2)

His doubts about his relationship with Thomas augmented a little more after something that happened to him during training.

That day had begun in a very normal way and everything was well until the beginning of the training session. As usual all the players were assembled around the coach for his speech, when suddenly Robert’s eyes had landed on Mats and Thomas who were talking together. There was nothing surprising in this but he was struck by two details: Mats had casually flung his arm around Thomas’ shoulders, and they both seemed to have a lot of fun. Robert really wished badly to grab the defender’s arm and push him away from the young Bavarian _manu militari_.

However, he tried to stay focused on what Jupp was saying about the training program. Yet, he became distracted again when he saw how the former Dortmund player was changing his position. This time it was his chin, instead of his arm, which was resting on Müller’s shoulder. A new wave of anger hit him, and he clenched his fists when he was forced to watch that Thomas let him do without saying anything.

During the warm-up and the first exercises he calmed down a little. Yet, his relative peace didn’t last for long. During an exercise about the offensive/defensive transitions, Thomas with his usual clumsiness tripped over his own legs. Lewy saw it and ran to catch him, but Mats was faster, and the defender was the one who caught the young German in his arms before he hit the ground. Perhaps, he was just imagining things, but Lewy had the impression that Mats’ hands were lingering on Thomas’ body for longer than necessary and that there was a clear provocation in the way Hummels was looking at him while he was holding Thomas in his arms.

This time it was too much for him, and Lewy stepped in the direction of the defender in order to give him a piece of his mind - but using all of the self-control he’d left, he stopped himself midway, considering that here and now was neither the place nor the time for such things. He achieved to stop himself from snapping at Mats but his anger didn’t subside. He was incapable of focusing on the rest of the exercises and on the match that Jupp organised to conclude the training session. Not only did he miss all that he tried but he was also fulminating against everyone and losing his temper for nothing.

So, when Mats came to criticise him after a goal that their team had conceded while Lewy was tying up his shoes instead of contributing to the defensive work, he lost control. Robert stood up harshly and headed towards his teammate, accusing him bluntly of being responsible for the team regularly losing the ball. Feelings were running high and their quarrel heated up more and more. They insulted each other, and they would have probably come to hit one another if their teammates hadn’t separated them.

When both had calmed down, they were sent to the coach’s office who gave them a good telling off. Lewy was probably not going to be in the line-up for the next game.

In the afternoon he had the surprise to receive a visit from Manu, who as their captain (even when he was injured) wanted to know what had happened in the morning. So, Robert retold him everything that had happened during this strange training session, and, while doing so, he realized that his anger against Mats had manifested itself in the same context. His sudden antipathy for the defender looked a lot like jealousy. Could it really be something like a friendship possessiveness or was it real jealousy? One thing was sure, he had never felt something like that for any of his friends.

The next day he was presenting his excuses to Mats for his stupid behaviour.

He would have liked to talk about all of his private troubles with someone, but he was afraid to do so with a Bayern player because of the possibility that Thomas could hear about it. He had considered to talk with Marco during the Klassiker, but this game had been such a disaster for the northern team that he hadn’t felt like disturbing his friend with his problems after that.

Time passed little by little, and it was already the semi-finals of the DFB Pokal. They played against Leverkusen. Bayern’s victory quickly profiled itself thanks to a double scored by Lewy in the first ten minutes. After that it was Thomas’ turn to shine and he scored the third, the fifth and sixth of the Bavarians’ goals. Müller’s last goal was particularly spectacular: Thomas had received a long pass perfectly in his run, he controlled the ball with his right foot, did a Marseille turn in order to be in the good position to shoot, the ball passed between two defenders and Leno was unable to save it.

Thomas who never did anything like anyone else, instead of running to get the acclamations of the stadium, simply remained where he was and only turned himself towards Lewy. Robert immediately smiled when he saw his teammate coming to him, a smile which he hoped translated all the pride, the joy and the admiration that he was feeling. He also smiled because of the pleasure to be the one and only with whom the young German player had chosen to share this moment of happiness.

When Thomas arrived in front of him, he took Lewy’s face in his hands. Strangely there was a great softness in this gesture, almost like a caress, as if all of the sudden the dark-blond Bavarian was afraid to hurt him. It was perhaps because of Robert’s black eye or because Thomas had instinctively understood that there had been a time for passion between them and that now there was a time for tenderness. Thomas came even closer, he slid his hands behind Lewy’s neck and he pulled Robert towards him so that their foreheads touch. This made him feel shy, and Lewy lowered his eyes and probably blushed slightly. For a few seconds, his heart beats were stronger and quicker.

He had the feeling that a flood of tenderness and affection was invading him. And then - as even the strongest trees would collapse under the strength of the wind at last, and the strongest damming would collapse under the strength of the water eventually - the strongest mental barriers would finally end up collapsing under the strength of feelings. Closing his eyes, giving in to the sweetness of the moment, he whispered to himself “I love you”.

Strangely he needed a lot of time to realize what had happened on the field of the BayArena. He had probably needed this time to quit this state of trance in which he was when he played football. A football pitch was like a parallel world to him, a world in which everything was possible. So, it was only at night, in his hotel bedroom, while he was replaying in his head the film of the game that he heard himself saying those fateful words which had escaped him at that time.

The shock was violent. He would have liked to be able to doubt the truth of these words, but he knew perfectly well that it was impossible. The time of the good excuses was finally over, you could love someone and live as if you didn’t, but you couldn’t know that you love someone and live as if you didn’t know it. Now, he knew the answer to all of his questions but it wasn’t the one he had hoped for, quite the contrary it was the one he had been the most afraid of.

He felt totally distraught in front of the situation. He didn’t want this kind of love in his life, he didn’t want to suffer, and he knew pertinently that nothing go was going to come from this.

How could he have been so stupid? How could he have let Thomas get into his heart like this?

It wasn’t a simple crush nor a simple physical attraction. No, he was in love! And he probably had been for years.

He needed to get rid of these feelings at all cost, no matter what expedient he had to use. It was a matter of avoiding a broken heart, of avoiding a career destruction, of avoiding to let himself become totally numb because of an unrequited love…

He didn’t sleep that night because he was unable to get rid of his panic feelings which were invading him. The more time passed, the more he got conscious of all the consequences that this situation could have, and the more he did, the more he was scared.

The following morning, he didn’t even dare looking at Thomas. During breakfast, Robert pretended that he hadn’t seen the inviting gesture coming from the young German to join him, and he had deliberately decided to sit at another table. In the bus he chose to seat as far away as possible from Thomas, and he listened to his music during the whole drive in order not to hear the other man’s voice.

During the following days, he arrived at the Säbener Strasse as late as he could in the hope that Thomas wouldn’t be in the locker-room anymore when Robert was going to be in. During training he managed to never be in the same group as his teammate and in the afternoon, he left the place as soon as possible.

Thomas quickly realized that Lewy was purposely avoiding him, (one must say that it was rather obvious), and from that day on things got way more complicated for the Pole because Müller was making visible efforts to talk to him, but also because with each passing day his desire to give in to the temptation of spending time with his friend grew up. In order to fight against this yearning, he resorted to more and more radical means, being clearly impolite and even mean to his friend.

The day before the first leg of the Champions League semi-final against Real, Thomas had decided to finally solve this problem between them. When Robert left the locker-room, the Bavarian followed him and when he was in the corridor, he heard his friend calling him, but he acted as if he hadn’t heard anything and he kept on walking. Thomas wasn’t the type of person to let himself be abandoned for so little. Lewy heard him running after him and quickly the other player had caught him up. Thomas grabbed Lewy’s arm in order to stop him and to get his attention.

Then he asked: “Robert, what’s going on? Why are you…”

“Leave me alone!” Lewy interrupted him harshly.

He freed his arm in a harsh move, and then he ran away as quickly as possible. He didn’t know where he was heading, but he knew that he had to get away from here because in the same second when he had heard the sound of Thomas’ voice his heart had started to beat up. When he got the impression that he was far away enough he stopped. He leaned against a wall, pushed back his head, put his hand on his heart which was racing and he said in a desperate voice: “Why did it have to be so hard?”

The match of the following day was a real ordeal for him. For the first time in his life he regretted to see that Thomas was present in Jupp’s line-up. He didn’t want to play with his friend anymore, he didn’t want to feel this connection that united them on pitch and to which he was so sensitive. He knew that if he abandoned himself to it during the game he wouldn’t be able to resist the pleasure he felt when he played with Thomas - and in the actual circumstances that was way too dangerous. So, despite the importance of that match, he had decided to play in the wrong way. He tried to detach himself as much as possible from his link with Müller, he tried to do as if his teammate wasn’t even on the pitch. For the first time in years they stood in each other’s way, they didn’t easily pass the ball to each other, they didn’t compensate each other’s moves, they didn’t understand each other without talking, nor felt each other without looking… and Robert had voluntarily caused this failure. He was mad at himself for this, but it was necessary. He sincerely hoped that his other teammates’ performances were going to be sufficient to make them win despite the discord between the two Bayern attackers.

He really believed that it was going to be the case when Kimmich scored the first goal of the game. Yet, once more fate was against them, and after Robben’s substitution for injury it was Boateng’s turn to leave the field before the end of the first-half. Just before the pause, Marcello equalized for the visitors and just after the pause, Ascencio gave them the lead and that was the last goal of the match.

Bayern was in a really bad position but still they could hope. This match had been quite balanced, you could even say that the Bavarians had slightly dominated the debates, at list they had produced a way better football than their opponent.

Between the two matches Robert thought a lot about what attitude he should have during the incoming game. Bayern was mainly organising the game for the attack but if they weren’t performing properly that was a major problem for the team and they hadn’t been during this last match. He knew that he was largely responsible of this, and also that if he kept playing like this during the second game the team’s chances to qualify would be diminished. He only had to play as usual. The temptation was great, but what was the most important: to play a Champions League final or to avoid ending up with a broken heart? That was a true dilemma, and at that time Robert had chosen what he had considered to be the voice of reason. He wasn’t going to change anything from the first match. After all, he didn’t need to play with Thomas to be good, he was perfectly capable of performing without his friend’s help.

This second match between the Spanish and the German club had been a magnifying replica from the first leg: in the same way Kimmich opened the score but this time already in the third minute, in the same way Real equalized, but this time in the 11th minute, in the same way an unfortunate error from Ulreich gave the advantage to the Madridistas at the beginning of the second-half. Of course, James equalizer gave them hope but despite all of their efforts they never achieved to score the goal that could have qualified them. Even more so than during the first match they had dominated their opponent. If the merit had been what had decided the final result, then they shouldn’t have been knocked-out but it wasn’t so. You could play the best football and lose. That night Real hadn’t beaten Bayern but Bayern had beaten themselves.

After the final whistle, Robert collapsed on the floor. He wanted to cry because of the defeat, because of his responsibility in this disaster, because of his lack of professionalism (after all he had let his personal problems messed up with football), because of his nerves that were getting the better of him, because he was exhausted physically and mentally, because of everything that he had happened since Leverkusen, because of the fact that his only wish was to cuddle up into Thomas’ arms to find comfort there. He couldn’t control himself any longer, and tears began to roll slowly on his face. Never, since a very long time, had he felt so lonely. This was probably the reason why he considered the tears from the Santiago Bernabeu as more bitter than the ones he’d cried at the Vicente Calderon.

In the weeks that followed this lost semi-final, he felt himself being a little bit more depressed each day. Not because of the elimination but because of his inner struggles. Every day he was trying to get away from Thomas a little more, and every day he was missing him a little more. He was exhausted of being obliged to permanently watch himself. He was exhausted of forbidding himself to think, to feel and to dream. And yet even this strict control didn’t completely prevent him from smiling when he saw Thomas smile; from being worried when he saw him sad; from being always looking for him; from hating all the people who, unlike him, were allowed to talk with him, to touch him, to laugh with him…

He had been in this situation for more than a month now and despite all the efforts he made, his affection for the young German hadn’t decreased even for an iota.

He had lost all of his pleasure of the training sessions, of the matches and even of the goals. He was wandering around like a lost soul. He was depressed because he missed Thomas and because he noticed that it was depressing him.

The Real experience had taught him something though: if the situation was going to stay the same, then he had to leave Bayern. It was impossible for him to give his best in such conditions, he was only handicapping the team. As there was no chance that Thomas would leave Bayern during the summer transfer window, he had to be the one leaving the club. Considering his total lack of success in falling out of love, it was more and more evident that next year he wasn’t going to play in Munich anymore. This perspective was only increasing his sadness. He loved this team, he loved this town, he loved his present life… but this sacrifice had become necessary. Besides, he knew deep inside of him that it was the only real way for him to, one day, get rid of these feelings that he had for Thomas.

He talked with his agent, and Pini Zahavi promised him that he was going to prospect for a transfer during the summer. Excuses and explanations for his departure were easily found: he wanted to win the Champions League, he wasn’t happy in Munich anymore… The use of the doublespeak was one the football’s world speciality.

They lost their two last Bundesliga’s games and the Cup final but Robert wasn’t able to care about these results anymore. All which really preoccupied him during those games was the fact that he was probably playing his last matches with Bayern. He imagined that the goal he scored against Frankfurt was his last with the Bavarian club, that it was the last time he was celebrating a Bundesliga’s title, the last time he was standing in the Allianz Arena with the right jersey on his shoulders… Even more important, when he saw Thomas leaving the pitch during the German Cup final, he understood that he had probably played the last minutes of his life in company of the Bavarian and he felt his heart sink at this idea.

The next day, during the celebration on the Marienplatz, he was saying goodbye - in his head - to everything he loved: the town, the team, the fans, the green-blue eyes, the radiant smile, the bizarre assists… But that was exactly the reason why he had to leave. If he had needed another proof that he was far from being cured, he would have easily found one during this afternoon. For instance, even in such sad circumstances, three little words from Thomas had been enough to make him smile.

After that he only thought about leaving Munich as quickly as possible for a few days of vacation with his family before he joined the national team for the World Cup’s preparation. He hoped that this new context and the training for such an important tournament were going to make him forget about his present problems.

Unfortunately, he was too exhausted, physically and mentally, to be performant in such a competitive context, if you add to this a certain number of problems in the team, the result was that Poland ended up at last place of the group H with only one victory in three matches. It was a huge disappointment which added to the other difficulties that he’d had to face for a few months now.

The night of their elimination he called Thomas when he had seen that Germany was also out of the tournament. If he himself was so disappointed by Poland’s defeat, it must be so much worse for his friend, and he was probably in need of some comfort, even if the one that Lewy could give him didn’t have much value for him. Poland could only have hoped for a quarter-final, but Germany had been one of the favourites for the final victory, and Thomas’ disappointment must have been infinitely superior to his. Robert knew him well enough now to know how sensitive Thomas was despite his outer appearances. It wasn’t very reasonable, nor really in sync with what Robert had tried to do recently, but the circumstances allowed him to make an exception. And if he wanted to be perfectly honest with himself, he had an infinite need to hear Thomas’ voice. Unfortunately, or fortunately, his friend didn’t answer the call. After all it wasn’t surprising, during weeks Robert had ignored and rejected him, and even if Thomas wasn’t easily offended, he had probably ended up to be seriously annoyed with him.

During the holidays Mister Fix-it, (AN: it’s one of Pini Zahavi’s nickname), conveyed to him a certain number of offers from clubs interested in his transfer. Two of them held his attention: Real and PSG. These two clubs had a major advantage for him, they were totally different from Bayern. What he was looking for was an opportunity to build himself a new life in which nothing was going to remind him of the past. If he wanted to be able to change himself, he had to change his environment, his way of living, of thinking, of behaving…

Also, he was sure that there, his teammates were only going to be “true footballers”, (he had talked about it with James). No ‘Mister Average’ who would turn out to be ‘Mister Unique’ with whom he could fall in love. No one to explain the similarities between classical dressage and football to him.

The first months were probably going to be difficult, but with time, change and distance there wouldn’t be feelings that didn’t fade away. Soon he was going to be a new man who had forgotten his past, and who would be free to construct himself the life that he wanted.

So, he asked his agent to start the negotiations with these two clubs and the talks with the Bayern board. He knew that things weren’t going to be easy on that side, but a player who wished to leave a club always found a way to get what he wanted. Even though Robert didn’t really appreciate those methods, he could go on strike on the last resort and use them for his own sake.

One more time he was going to give the impression that he was moving to the enemy’s side, but it didn’t have any importance. He was ready to face the fans’ anger.

As always with that kind of matter the press quickly got wind of his possible transfer, and the articles about his departure multiplied. He knew that these rumours and later their confirmation were going to sadden a certain number of his teammates: the old ones with whom he had played for four years, and some of the new ones with whom he had gotten close recently; but he also knew that all of them were going to understand him and to forgive him his departure. There was only one person who wasn’t going to pardon him - because Bayern was his life, and the perspective that Thomas was going to hate him one day was almost unbearable.

Robert came back to Munich a week before he was supposed to in order to solve some problems with his lawyer about a possible sale of his house.

During the evening that followed his return, when he had just finished his dinner, he heard the sound of the doorbell. He asked himself who it could be because no one was aware of his return. He was even more surprised when he saw Thomas standing in front of him. He was so struck by this unexpected apparition of his friend who he had believed to be in holidays at the Lake Constance that he couldn’t stop himself from asking point blank “Thomas? But what are you doing here?”

“I came back from my holidays earlier in order to do some physical workout before the beginning of the season.”

That was typical Thomas, each time that he was disappointed about himself in a tournament, he spent hours in the gym in order to gain some muscles. “And yesterday I saw you in a street so I deducted that you’d also come back earlier, and I assumed that this would be the best time to find you at home, so here I am…”

Robert was totally lost, frozen in place, unable to talk or to think or to do anything… he must have looked like a complete idiot, and Thomas who seemed to be a little bit surprised by his behaviour asked him: “Er…Robert? I’d like to talk with you, may I come in?”

He should have close the door and run away to hide himself in his bedroom if he wanted to be reasonable, but he was unable to do this. And even if he had done that, there was an expression of determination on Thomas’ face that made him believe that even if he closed the door right before Thomas’ nose, his friend would just use the window to come into the house. So, he stepped aside from the door frame and invited his teammate to come in without a word.

He stayed behind during a few seconds in order to close the door and to calm his heart beats. 

They sat in the patio since the daylight just started to fade, and now the heat was very agreeable. Lewy offered a drink to his guest with the hope that some minutes in the kitchen were going to help him collect himself.

They remained silent while Thomas drank his glass. When he had emptied it, he turned himself towards Robert and he suddenly asked him: “Robert? Is it true what I read in the newspapers?”

Thomas’ tone was perfectly calm and deprived of all reproach, but Lewy felt himself unable to answer. Yet he looked down in shame and his friend immediately understood. “So it’s true… But why?”

Robert turned his head to look at Thomas when he heard him pronounce these last words, the young man had said them with so much innocence and sadness that he had the impression to hear a child talk. Their eyes met, and Robert immediately looked away.

After a short moment of silence Thomas talked again, but the little boy was gone and the man was there again: “I know that its isn’t for the money,” he declared as if it was an undeniable truth. “So, there can only be tree possibilities. For the official reason, or for an officious reason or for a little bit of both. If it’s for the first reason then, in this case, I could only tell you that it’s normal for a footballer to look for victory and glory.

Of course, I can’t promise you that, if you stay here, you’ll win the Champions League, but is there really a better chance for you to win this title elsewhere? PSG has never passed the quarter-final so far.

Certainly, Real has just won this tournament three times in a row, but they have a new trainer and I’m not sure that they’ll win a fourth title. As for glory…this is not really glory that you’re looking for here, but fame.

Glory it’s history, it’s eternity! And what these two clubs could offer you is an instant of popularity, a few years bathed in the artificial light of the projectors. Whereas if you stay here you have the opportunity to become a living legend of one of the greatest European football clubs!

To go down in the Bayern’s history, it’s to go down in the football’s history. You have the possibility to make sure that millions and millions of people from generation to generation will worship your name. You could dethrone the myth that Gerd Müller is and create the myth of Robert Lewandowski. This is ambition! Why do want to dream small when you could dream a lot bigger?”

Robert had never seen Thomas talk with such passion and assurance before. It was the captain that spoke, and each of his sentences had made Robert feel more enthused.

After this long speech, Thomas lowered his head and with a totally different tone he added “At least that was my ambition a few years ago… and I think that, when I understood that I was never going to realise this dream, I transferred it on to you. I told myself that it wasn’t so important if in ten years no one remembered that a Thomas Müller played football, if at least I would have helped you to engrave your name in the history of football… If it’s for a personal reason that you’re leaving, or to be more specific for the reason why you looked so unhappy for months, then it’s none of my business, and I’m no one to judge if it’s a good or a bad reason. All that I dare telling you is that I have always considered you to be a man of courage and I hope that I haven’t been wrong about that.”

They remained silent for a long time before Thomas spoke up again, and this time the child was here again.

“Robert, please, don’t leave me!”

Lewy was surprised by the amount of distress he heard in Thomas’ voice. “I played with tons of players whom I have watched arrive and leave over the years, of course when they were friends I was sad to see them go, but with you it’s special. I don’t know why, but when I heard that you wanted to leave I suddenly panicked. Since then, I have only one thing in mind, and it’s to stop you. I know that it’s terribly selfish and that I’m probably the last person for whom you might want to stay. I noticed how much you were annoyed with me within the past weeks but… I need you so much. You can’t even begin to imagine! I have been associated with a lot of excellent players but I have never felt, with any of them, what I feel when we play together. And now I’m not able to play with someone else. When I’m on the pitch I’m only thinking about ‘Where is Lewy? What is he doing? How could I pass him the ball?’ No, to be true I’m not even thinking about it, it’s integrated in me like a reflex. You’re a part of the way I play football, and I don’t know how to play with someone else anymore. I even think that I’m not able to relearn how to play differently. It’s too late! If you wanted to leave you should have done it before I got so used to play with you!... I know that it’s stupid but can’t stop myself from thinking like that. Without you I don’t exist anymore, a passer without his striker that makes no sense, don’t you think so?”

There was so much emotion in his friend’s voice that Robert had tears in his eyes. Completely guided by his instincts and his feelings, he turned himself towards Thomas without really knowing what he was going to do, but with a sole intention: to comfort him. Yet, before he had time to do anything, Thomas was looking away and saying:

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have interfered in your own business like that. I pray you forget all I said. The only thing that I authorize you to remember it’s that I have been very happy to play with you during all these years, yes_very_… and that I wish you a lot of happiness and success. I hope with all my heart that you will be happy wherever you go and that you will realize your dreams… Farewell, Lewy.”

And before Robert had time to realize what was happening Thomas stood up and he ran away.

Lewy also immediately ran after him, screaming “Thomas! Wait! Thomas!!” But he wasn’t quick enough and when he arrived at the door, Thomas’ car was already starting. He stayed on the threshold still for a few minutes, starring into the empty space and then he headed back into his house.

A lot of different emotions were raging inside him, and his face was the mirror of his inner turmoil. Sometimes he was smiling blissfully when he thought about what Thomas had said to him, sometimes he was about to cry when he thought about his departure… If someone would watch him now, they would think that he was a lunatic or a madman.

During the following days, he thought a lot. One more time Thomas had turned everything upside down in his life and in his well-established plan, and so everything was questioned.

Everything, but the arguments in favor of a transfer were still the same. He was in love with Thomas for years, (perhaps even since their first day as teammates), and if he stayed in Munich, it would be impossible for him to get rid of these feelings, as long as he was going to see his friend every day during the whole year it would be impossible. He knew Thomas too well to hope that with time he was going to discover something about his character that could help him to stop loving him. Robert already knew all of his friend’s defects, but he still felt the same affection for them as he held for his qualities because all of this was Thomas and he loved everything that was Thomas.

He also knew very well that soon he wasn’t going to be satisfied with watching from the distance anymore, that a few words and a smile wasn’t going to be enough for his happiness anymore. He knew that from day to day his heart was going to ask for more and more until the frustration became so intolerable that he was going to contemplate doing the unthinkable and confess his feelings to his friend. And this would be how, as he hadn’t been able to satisfy himself with what he had, he was going to lose everything because of his desire for more.

He knew fairly well that there was absolutely no chance that one day Thomas might feel for him something deeper than friendship - and even if that could be the case, in their present situation it would be impossible for them to live something else than a secret relationship. And there again, as love is always asking for more and with the context forbidding them to fulfill all of their desires this was going to end up in a break-up.

There was no chance for him that one day these feelings may lead him to happiness. So, he had to fight them and to destroy them before the damage would even be worse than it already was.

Whereas in Bayern’s favor there was only one new argument: Thomas needed him. But Robert was in love, and so this unique reason carried weight in his mind. Thomas had asked him to have the courage but did he realize what kind of sacrifice he was asking from him? It was years and years of his life that were probably going to be destroyed if he stayed here. But…Thomas needed him. His teammate had told him the things that Robert had wanted to hear from him for years and in which manner, with which words… Could he really go away when Thomas was begging him stay?

Every man had to have a moment of greatness in his life and for Robert that time had come. When his agent came to convey him the absolute refusal of the Bayern’s presidents to let him leave, he told him to stop the negotiations there. This was probably the least reasonable decision of his life but it was also probably the most courageous one he’d ever made.


End file.
